No way NO WAY

I'm gonna see Wei Xuan in a dress :'D I'm so excited!
xxx
Today is the day International Understanding Day AND MTV World Stage happens, so it should be an exciting day for most :)
I think the Interact board (as much as I'm "against" them, because English Club members always enter the club, then ditch it for the Interact Club when they're old enough hahaha) did their best this year.
Everywhere I look I see people practising for The Day and it has come. So put your best foot forward, good luck and
BRING YOUR HORSES TO THE FORE 8D
(It's a Chinese expression: Bring it on.)
Hahahahaha :D
I'll post about the whole event later. See you then!

I want you but I never said it.

Lazy Sunday Morning - Clazziquai
What a perfect song for me and me blog :'D
xxx
I wore my heels out today for the first time. I felt incredibly tall :D
I saw Nabilah! She's so pretty. And well-dressed!
And I trimmed my fringe a bit, it's sort of short but I love it! I've always wanted a really short fringe anyway, so this is... going halfway XD
xxx
HAIRSTYLES I'D LIKE TO TRY (not in order)
1. Short pixie boyish cut. With the really short short fringe.
2. Alice Cullen
3. Long big curls with bangs
4. BANGS with shoulder length hair that curls inwards a bit
5. BANGS :D
6. I don't think I'd look good in bangs :( BUT BANGS! :D
7. Straight hair. HAHAHAHA
8. Some urban modern look paired with black squarish glasses
9. Side fringe with poofy curly chin length hair :D refer to the girl in Sweety - Clazziquai.
The song SWEETY IS LOVE :)
10. Free flow red red red hair
etc etc dan sebagainya
xxx
I'm tired of crushing like hell on someone for a bloody long time, hoping for them to see me only to have them go crazy for another lovelier, prettier, smarter, funnier etc. girl. I know, apparently there are only a mere handful in the world that are like that but it's not once, twice but THREE TIMES
WHY
So many girls like that is it?! XD
I'll just save my weirdly expressed feelings for later. I'm ready to be a PLAYER.
*snort*
This outburst isn't wholly random. I stumbled upon an old-ish bookmark I made, with a simple ugly picture and the words, "You make me feel like I'm on top of the world." And then a strawberry Metoo I bought in China. And then remembered an old frog I made. And a card?
And yeah.
I count them all as experience. I even base some of my fictional characters on them, gathering the little things and quirks that make me fall so hard and putting them all into my stories.
I have pictures and the written word on my side, and I shall keep on hoping for every one of you to go get some of that magic they call love :D find it, let it break you, make you cry and laugh, then come back and tell me ;D
And I promise likewise(?).

Silly TV talking by itself in the living room.

Lazy Sunday Morning - Clazziquai
I love Clazziquai :D
xxx
TV's on in the lounge area.
My sister sleeps faster if the TV is on. Especially if Family Guy is going to play at night. She'd sleep just before it plays XD XD hahahahahhaha
It's so nice to sleep with the TV on, listening to its soft mumble as you slowly close your eyes, never really comprehending what's making all those people laugh in the background.
Kukukukukukukukuku
xxx
http://idontwannaever-loveanother.blogspot.com/
She may not have the best spelling in the world but it shows how she talks and expresses how she feels. And that's called great writing with feeling.
YES I'M PRAISING YOU DISALLOWED
KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU
I love you Mandy :D

Per aspera ad astra

Through the night to the light.
xxx
Ai seh. :D Hello everybody!
I've been really weird. Not good, not bad. Just really.. weird.
I think it's a good thing :)
xxx
Everybody!
There's an event happening this Friday in Bangsar called the Bangsar CF Amazing Race!

Where: Bangsar Gospel Centre, opposite Starbucks near Bangsar Village
When: 2.00 to 4.30 maximum
What: A fun activity where everyone's invited! :D It's like a short bite-sized version of Amazing Race on AXN hee hee. XD Find a friend and pair up, as groups will be assigned by pairs on the spot. It's gonna be so much FUN 8D
Transport: Working on it, but right now we have transport from and back to school. Limited seats XD ahahahahahaha I'm kidding.
Ask me about it. ;D

Make time for this event as it's gonna be amazing.
TEEHEE bad pun

I like you (no, I love.)

Wo Xi Huan (Bu, Wo Ai) - Yan Jue
xxx
我喜欢你的眼
wo xi huan ni de yan
I like your eyes

看着我的眼
kan zhe wo de yan
looking into mine.

我喜欢你的脸
wo xi huan ni de lian
I like your face

贴著我的脸
tie zhe wo de lian
close to mine.

我喜欢你的手
wo xi huan ni de shou
I like your hand

牵著我的手
qian zhe wo de shou
that takes my hand.

我喜欢你的口
wo xi huan ni de kou
I like your lips

吻著我的口
wen a wo de kou
lightly kissing mine.

*时间在改变
shi jian zai gai bian
The times are changing..

你不要改变
ni bu yao gai bian
You; please don't change

CHORUS
因为我很爱你
ing wei wo hen ai ni
Because I love you very much

不想要你放弃爱情
bu xiang yao ni fang qi ai qing
I don't want you to give up on love.

尤其这段得来不易
you qi zhe duan de lai bu yi
Especially now, when it's not easy.

我爱你 真的是很爱你
wo ai ni zhen de shi hen ai ni
I love you, I really do.

所以想就这样继续爱下去
suo yi xiang jiu zhe yang ji xu ai xia qu
So I want our love to go on this way.
xxx
credits: Top10 Pinyin Lyrics. I translated! I TRANSLATED! :'D
xxx
What a cute upbeat song :D I was mis-led! I thought from his pictures he'd be a serious and ballad person, with a deep voice as smooth as honey.
Instead he surprised me with his refreshing clear voice and an amazing skill to say things really quickly XD
And then he inserts a little jazz into his songs that I simply love. He's so happy!
Happy, upbeat, I can just imagine him smiling as he sings his songs instead of the seriousface hottay on the Chinese newspaper. I'm still going through the album and he seems like a kind of sensitive and playful person through the songs, melodies and them funky high notes with the mellow chords.
I'd love to know him.
HEEEEEE. :D
xxx
After 20 minutes: Oh, they're quite a few lovely songs in his album!
I love it, so much.
Thank you Wei Xuan :'D

You've begun to pursue a lonely freedom.

Red Bean/Hong Dou - Khalil Fong/Faye Wong
xxx
What a beautiful song with so many hidden gems of lines in it.
xxx
A funny and cute girl called me cute in tuition today. I'm not cute.
I don't know why she or Alaina or some other people call me cute XD I'm long, lanky, dark, incapable of speaking well. I spout random things that make no sense. I'm more quirky than cute, whuuuuut!
Look at Brice, or dodol. They're much cuter :DDDDD
xxx
Today I'm going to tell you a story.
It's about Nobody and Somebody.
Nobody once used to be in a group of friends who over the years, drifted apart. You know. These things happen right. Break time in school was a people-watching affair. He watched as people go by in pairs, in groups, laughing as they walked leisurely to the cafeteria. And he'd smile. He doesn't envy them at all.
Somebody considers Nobody his best friend, but due to circumstance somehow he's got two circles of best friends. Where one is present, the other is naturally left alone. Mutually exclusive, where both cannot happen at the same given time. The bigger circle is better to be with, what with all the constant crazy laughter and joy. Nobody remembers the time where he used to do that. Now, cliques have formed their rigid barriers and people are unwilling to change. They might accept Nobody for a little while, but Nobody similarly does not want to intrude or frankly, be close to them. If Nobody can't have the one he wants, he'd live without the best. They can't replace number one in Nobody's heart.
Nobody soon became like a nursery's wallpaper; rainbows, sunshine and pastel colours the whole day through yet nobody really pays attention to it.
Nobody doesn't mind. It's okay.
Somebody doesn't want Nobody to pull away but things happen.
So. It's okay you know. :D things will work out.
The end(?).

I haven't yet experienced the warmth of a waking kiss.

Red Bean/Hong Dou - Khalil Fong/Faye Wong
xxx
What would it be like, a kiss?
What a curious thing.
For two people who feel that fickle feeling, love. For them to feel the same about each other and share a kiss without feeling self-conscious at that moment, leaning in to feel the other person's lips on yours.
I wonder.
Maybe it's different for everyone.
I guess the kiss depends on the depth of feeling.
Yes?

Sorry

I ditched you again, Leanne.
I may not come this Friday too? I think. Going to Penang.
Today I've got a fever and stomach problem... XD and I don't want to go to the doctor. Why go when I can obtain active natural immunity on my own? xD
-nerdmomenthahahahaha-
xxx
Is it weird that I want to be a doctor/musician someday? When I hate going to the doctor's place unless I'm really REALLY sick? XD
xxx
I feel like vomiting today.
I don't know why.
I'm going to school later though, to pass up PEKA and do scouts registration. :D
Maybe it's my body lashing out against me because of all the stress I put myself under. So all emotional, I threw my hands in the air and said FUGGIT, I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL.
I asked my dad if I could have breakfast with him, and he (who's sick and incapacitated) showed gentleness and said yes. He said he understands the stress factor and sometimes all you want to do is just brush it all off, lock it up in Pandora's box and sleep. Later can open the bloody box again but you'd be refreshed and there's always hope, no?
Thank you Pa. You may be really stubborn and hard-headed and fuss about the small stuff all the time but I know it's because of circumstance.
So we went to Restoran Kak~ :D I LOVE RESTORAN KAK
You all should go visit. HAHAHA. It's near the Sri Cempaka school in Damansara, near all the Jalan Setia-xxx (ie. Setiabudi, Setiabistari, etc). It's the only shop I know that sells these amazing kuih-muih in the early morning.
I've been going since I was 9! XD I really like the way they make the egg sponge cake, the butter pau, a fried kuih with glutinous rice in the middle and yau zha kuih. They have paus too, they're really really cute and bite-sized but delicious.
An uncle and his wife runs the place and it hasn't changed one bit since I was 9. Maybe the workers changed lah but other than that, same patrons, same tables and chairs, same coloured plastic sheet roof and same delicious teh tarik.
Hahahahhaa :D eeee, shameless unpaid advertising.
What're you waiting for??? :D
Now I'm refreshed! Back to school; see you soon!

I'll never ask for more than your love.

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You - Khalil Fong
What started this feeling is pretty simple.
xxx

xxx
Oh my goshhh :D
He's so cute in this video, especially that longing look he gives the girl in the classroom while he was writing the love letter.
The way he held her in his arms when they danced, so natural, intimate yet respectful of personal space. The girl just lights up with a smile from the heart... so pretty.
<3>
And then I watched the Red Bean cover of his and the lyrics hit home. I know the original is by Faye Wong but his version is so simple, so beautiful. Why is he always singing about a love so painful yet worth it? Or a love just out of his grasp?
The small little melancholy smile he did at the end of the video took my breath away.
You've never seen something truly beautiful and heartbreaking until you see someone you love smile like that.

I wonder if your day is still beautiful without me

Romeo N Juliet - Clazziquai Project
xxx
I feel like I'm doing the same things over and over.
Bathe. Eat. Tuition. Bathe. Eat.
Oh wait, didn't I bathe like this yesterday?
Didn't I eat a big dinner yesterday?
Why do I feel hungry then.
Oh we're gonna eat dinner again today.
............................ ngeh.
Having breakfast is my way of breaking the cycle. XD
xxx
I wish I had the means to make every day different.
xxx
I was visited by a moth yesterday.
Malays, Indians, Chinese and maybe other races have this belief that moths are a symbol for souls coming back to visit the people they love. Have you watched Bleach? Them lost souls turn into awesome black butterflies after they've been purified.
The moth that visited me was a medium-sized moth with a cute plump, furry body that perched on the wall above my bed. After I bathed and dressed in my pyjamas, I saw it and was surprised.
In a good way.
I mean, a soul came to visit me specially :3
I took a towel and approached it, saying hi and what are you doing here? The moth had many shades of brown on its wings, creating patterns of dots and stripes while at its head there were these pair of soft black eyes just staring at me. Surprisingly it wasn't creepy at all, just a rather curious gaze.
It then flew a bit and landed gracefully on my towel. It may not be as beautiful as the colourful butterflies, but moths have a certain mystery to them. Look closely and you can see these many patterns on them and most moths I've encountered are HUGE, with sweeping wings and the occasional eye-patterns painted on them.
My moth had a little bit taken out of its left wing though... so it couldn't fly properly. I chased it a bit as it flew, giddy like it was high. Finally, I took it out to the balcony. It magically started to fly down to the big streetlamp facing my balcony, and I smiled.
It was weird, and it moved me.
What if..?

WTF DEVI'S

WHY!
My dream since Form 3 was to fill up 3 tables with us Christian Fellowship members under the shade of those leafy romantic trees of Devi's Corner just like in Szetho's time but HOW THE CRAP CAN WE DO THAT IF YOU CLOSE DOWN
And become a bank?
:(
xxx
At least we did use three tables once, two weeks ago. :) I guess that's enough.
Still! Why my yearrrrrrrrr
AJFSDFSCNOWEYCGVFSMGJFWEIKPOSFKL
:'(
xxx
Aih.
I should explain myself. XD I'm the president of Christian Fellowship, the figurative mom of all my members :3 hahahahahahha. I love being able to get close to all of them in God's presence and have fun with them each Friday of the week, sometimes with a break in between. I like playing the guitar and leading worship, I like being able to sing in front of them and they have some measure of fun. I like prayer groups where we just talk about anything, I like sharing word because we all get something like a post-it note in our minds throughout the week.
However, throughout the years our numbers have dwindled.
In addition to that, the new headmistress didn't let us have a meeting of Christians or non-Muslims in general during their annual big prayer in the beginning of the year. It was horrible! I couldn't see why we couldn't pray as well while spreading the word that there was a Christian Fellowship organization in our school. No one knows about it, NO ONE.
Okay maybe a few. But NOT ENOUGH :)
It's the first time we didn't have this meeting ever since I stepped into the school. And I can assure you it's been done before I was in SMKSH as well.
I told her it was a tradition, but she wanted the right platform to hold this event.
Platform.
What the hey.
But I've gotten past that, asking everyone to spread the word by mouth and I try to be as persuasive as possible to get people in ;D I prayed once for it. Then Mandy got June in, then got Jayne, Celeste, Alex, Janine and Gary in. AND I WAS LIKE 8D
Hahahahahhahaha!
After that, our long time venue, Canaan Church wasn't available to us anymore; Pastor Daniel is expanding the church and slotting a new ministry in the time slot we have our CF, so it's kind of... awkward. So he told us, and I was absolutely devastated. I couldn't think straight for a week. I guess it's my fault, because I've started CF late this year (April). I take the blame lah, but I felt so bad for the members because I didn't know what to do. So I prayed for this too!
And you know what? Cheng Jin (gotta love him :D) saved all our asses by suggesting we go to the park! :D If we're gung ho enough that is. So I got everyone to the park, and they were willing to come :'D I'm so proud of them. We had 2 sessions in the park and scouting sessions with Cheng Jin and Jeffrey, where we went around looking for possible locations where CF could be held. It was a little off-putting since we went on a Friday afternoon when no one was in ANY church, so we just got their numbers and headed our separate ways. Joyce got the number of a pastor of a nearby River of Life Sanctuary church and I sms-ed the pastor after some time, because I took time to mull things over and school was getting busy.
And you know what? One of the youth leaders (which later became known and loved as Soon Seng and Anne) replied my sms and emailed me! And then we got to know each other and used their own youth place called Stamped, where they have air con, drums, a keyboard, a whole lot of space, a toilet, projector and more than we could've asked for. I was so bloody happyyyyy :3
So we got past that too.
But now, now DEVI'S IS CLOSING DAMMIT
I can't move on :'( they didn't even give us any bloody notice! D: I feel so cheated. Hahahahaha. XD
I'll miss so much, like the payasam, the uncles, the kakak-s. I hope they move some place else and not disappear altogether :'(
Aih.