i love the way you say good morning

The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

(:

xxx

I love saying good morning.

It's like saying, hey you're in my morning, you are the first thing I see in the day and it makes me happy. :3 That's what I feel anyway.

It's intimate, yet polite.

xxx

Happy Malaysia Day! (:

I promise to write something of substance soon. I want to write so badly, but I forgot what I came here to write. ):

See you then? (:

say what?

DISTINCTION FOR GRADE 8 B*TCHEZ!

I love you all,

so, so much.

nightmares

Chasing me, it's always chasing me.

I don't even know what it is.

It just chases me.

Corners me,

suffocates me,

drives me into a dead end.

I cannot take this fear.

xxx

I had a dream that the car i drove fell backwards into a body of water. Water entered and took over my vision.

I was going to die,

and I knew it.

Someone unlocked the doors, and I was like

Thank God.

Rushed to open the car door.

Everything sinking.

No oxygen.

Can't breathe.

And I woke up grasping at the air,

wanting to cry.

if you were an ice cream flavour

You would be my favourite one.

All About Your Heart - Mindy Gledhill

xxx

Hello :D how you been!

My practical exam went okay...

My scales were HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS

then everything picked up after that. Pieces flew beautifully, and I enjoyed playing them.

My examiner was a tall British man called Jonathan Beatty. His eyes were a beautiful, clear blue-green and greeted me with polite warmth. Before I played Month's Mind by John Ireland, I said "I hope you like Ireland." And he was like "I love Ireland."

:DDD

He even thanked me after playing it, saying he doesn't hear it enough.

Heheh.

My last one about describing the piece and period was kind of off though.. but what's done is done. I regret ONLY THE SCALES.

<3

xxx

I went on my first date yesterday.

<3

xxx

I didn't even know for sure that it was a date...

But I loved every moment. I enjoyed his company very much and that's kinda all there is to it.

We had lunch and he paid,

we had ice cream,

and we walked and talked.

I love the way he touches; respectful yet intimate.

I like the way he looks at me; assessing, warm, direct. Honest. Predatory sometimes. D:

I hate the way he always compliments me to fluster me that bastard

And I love to make him smile.

All in all, a gorgeous day.

She says I'm a masochist for falling for you

Masochist - Ingrid Michaelson

xxx

Recently my friend made me realize something: I fall for guys that have a 100% chance of letting me down. Arrogant, good-looking, never gonna fall for me types.

I'm not masochistic by my own conscious doing..

I swear ; - ;

xxx

My practical exam for Grade 8 piano is coming up.

Wish me luck!

Hello, remember me?

(:

xxx

My subconscious has been really confused of late.

It's not the kind of confusion that puzzles you actively every minute of the day.

It's more like.. a background sort of thing that eats at you from the inside.

I shouldn't be confused, says the rational mind. But I've never felt this before..

You know that magic banter between two people who are interested in each other? It's easy, it's fluid, full of compliments that might or might not be true, perceived through rose-tinted glasses. The way the other's smile looks somewhat different from normal smiles, this one sort of lights up the whole face. And you say, I never knew I could do that.

And then you smile back like the sun.

Then doubts kick in.

Maybe it's just how you are used to interacting with girls..

Maybe it's just going to fall apart like the rest before..

Maybe I'M OVERTHINKING

Yeah.

If you want me, chase me. I'm not going to fall head over heels then roll over ninja-style and stand up again because nobody catches me.

:3 hwaiting.

I'll be waiting.

xxx

I realize that no matter what distractions try to do to me,

you'll always be there.

Even though we haven't known each other for long, I want you to know that I love you.

I never ever want to feel that I couldn't say I love you because it's too late.

failure.

I'm not a stranger to failure.
I know it, I don't care much about it, I am irritated by it, I can't help it, I am not good enough.
But I can't fail now.


I ask for strength.

she's a genius.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor.

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet.

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else
and they hope that they're mistaken.

No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say,
"We've got some bad news, sir."
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious
Ha, ha
Ha, ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for.

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
is a pair of hateful eyes.
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,

We're all laughing with God.
xxx
Laughing With - Regina Spektor

this night is sparkling

Taylor Swift - Enchanted
xxx
I went to the Country Barn with my mom last Friday. Can I just say IT WAS DAMN COOL
:D
Every Friday at the Country Barn pub, they have this whole country night on. The band, "Ghost Riders" play country music the whole night and people dance along to the music on the dance floor. Of course, the age range was a little older, but dancing is ageless.
:3
My mom pointed out the regulars hahaha! Throughout the night she ordered me drinks: let's see, there were 2 dry martinis, a Campari Orange and a bacardi coke.
....
I'm very unattractive half-drunk. Hahahahahaha. My body was radiating heat and i was pink all over. And giggly. But I still had my wits. :P
I danced a waltz for the first time with this guy named Harith Hess. It was amazing, so exhilarating.
I slept well that night. :)
xxx

The crossroad, a.k.a. the interview.

JPA scholarship interview that is. I got chosen for an interview in UiTM Section 17 campus, Shah Alam. (Tip for those going in the future: CHECK THE BLOODY PLACE OUT. Google Maps is misleading and there are quite a few branches of UiTM. If it is still in UiTM that is. Best to check it out anyway. :) )

After Chemistry class, I went straight over and slept a bit in the car. I woke up to my dad cursing because we were at the wrong UiTM and he really didn't know where to go anymore. I had to be there at 3.15, and it was already 3 so you can imagine the cold sweat ahahaha.

We dropped by an office in the campus and asked the Malay ladies how to get to the other campus. The gentle lady took like 5 minutes explaining how to get OUT of the campus itself so Pa was like. I have no time, is it okay if we borrowed a kakak. HAHAHA

It so happened that that day, they were understaffed so nobody could go along with us to guide us. Thank God there was this Indian guy there who was willing to lead us out then guide us from there. He was dressed in a neon orange shirt, black working pants and shoes and a white hard hat.

On his motorbike, he led us to the exit then tried to explain the way to Pa, but Pa was so damn nervous he straight out asked the guy to follow us. And the Indian guy agreed! So all the way to the other campus we were like, thank you thank you thank you so much. Hahahaha.

After the interview we found out that his name was Said and that he was Mamak.

Pa was like, God sent me an Indian-Muslim angel.

So 1Malaysia right.

xxx

I went donned in a royal blue baju kurung Kedah I bought when I was in Form 1. I'd say 50%-50% were wearing baju kurung and formal attire respectively. There were so many parents waiting around for their kids and there were these areas where parents were marked off, make them so anxious or kan cheong only. :O

In my group I was the first, probably because my name starts with an A.

I was pretty surprised that they didn't require us to bring our portfolios in, we all just gave our respective portfolios to the admin people to flip through. What are the certs for then? D:

When we got in, we all had to introduce ourselves. They cut me off when I was talking about my extracurricular achievements, I'm not too sure if that's okay. If they deem it unimportant then oh well, they have the paperwork to look at anyway :)

They asked me why my name was so weird and if my parents were Chinese... because I don't look quite Chinese.. and what the meaning of tikus membaiki labu meant. Hahahahaha

Sorry. I find that quite funny :D

They also asked me where would I go, why not Malaysia, what trait do you think a doctor should have and so on and so forth. I think I was pretty lucky not to have the group discussion thing. I wasn't that nervous after a while, because the interviewers were really nice. Except for the third one, he just observed and didn't say a word.

"Make yourself comfortable," they said.

They were really smart in their formal attire, all suited up ;D but they smiled. So we just talked.

The only guy in our group sat next to me, I don't know his name ; - ; he was so adorable! He wanted to become a gynaecologist/obstetrician and deliver babies because he wanted to have the feeling of being the first to hold the baby when it comes into the world. And he teaches taekwondo, he's black belt. I was like.

You darling thing. Come I bring you home.

HAHAHAHA

But that was inside my mind, cannot say out loud... xD

I smiled a lot to myself. I hope they didn't find it weird. I try to make a straight face and keep it in but it comes out anyway.

And I laughed quite a fair bit. D:

I was talking about someone being sick then he said, it's such a serious thing why are you laughing? I replied because that someone gave me the inspiration to become a doctor. ;D

LIKE. A. BOSS.

Or not.

I told them I felt really lucky to be there because we were sesat-ed for a while. Whatever the outcome, being there was enough.

Because, I'm good enough. :)