6 months?

It feels like a whole damn lifetime without her already and you're telling me it's been 6 months. ONLY.
Well.... 6 down, a whole life to go.
Aish.
So I'm gonna dedicate a post to her. Ummm.... it'll be rather stupid and long, so I'd rather you didn't read. Don't say I didn't warn you and warded you off.
Okay?
Okay. Deep breath.
xxx
Hi Chandni. It's been really long without you here... mm. I've been making new friends left right and center, so it's been okay. And OMG, it's been getting so busy I SWEAR I'm being avalanched. I've just studied a whole subject today, and I'm gonna knock 'em off one by one as the exams come closer. Oh, they're just breathing down my neck like monsters with... huge nostrils.
Pn Liew is my Add Math teacher. She's just started on trigonometry, haha! The one you always get frustrated over. Sorry I never got it then. XD Thanks for making me get it.
You remember that day we were walking back up to class from God knows what, and you actually took my shoulder and gave me a reassuring hug? I love that day. It's imprinted in my mind, the dampness of the air, the secludedness of the corridor, how we were like off in our own world. I think it's because it's the first time you ever hugged me without warning. It was wonderful.
Well.... first and last, hahaha.
*SLAPS SELF* So depressing hahahahaha.
I'm writing a letter and burning it in front of you, if I ever visit your place-where-ashes-are-put. NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHERE IT IS. I'm still very frustrated hahahaha.
Wye Zhi and I have made up. In fact, yesterday we went to celebrate by eating at a restaurant called Room Eighteen. We had lots of fun and laughter at the table! :) it's an unexpected circle of friends, but you know. People adapt. :)
I wish I could come up with more unimportant small talk, but frankly I don't pay attention anymore. It's like the world is there and I'm.. not. I'm just drifting around, still cacatedly coming to terms with you being gone and all. Ugh, I'm taking so bloody long. WAI.
You remember DBSK? :D well now I know a person named Chang Min, hahaha! He's a really sweet guy, that's a bit childish in nature but oh, when he opens his mouth and sings, I could melllltttt. Sometimes he also flashes signs of maturity and hints at hidden depths. It's been amazing so far, and I want to get to know him more.
Cookie cutter's still a big fat puzzle. I'm trying to get to know him deeper and understand him and why he's so jaded in some ways. He's so.. fascinating.
I really want to know how you are right now.. if the streets of heaven really are paved with gold or if you'd be the interior designer of your own pad. XD And maybe you've met people like En Salleh (that'd be weird, so very weird), your grandma, your brother? Perhaps you've grown too.
And OMG, maybe you've straightened your hair HAHAHAHA. Don't please! I'd have loved to see it long but NEVER STRAIGHT, hahaha! That'd be odd. Curly hair is your thang, and you pull it off well.
It's sad that you never turned sixteen. You were so close... I cried the day you passed away, partly because you didn't get to Christmas Day. I'd thought that you'd have made it at the very least, till then. But oh well. :) you'll forever be sweet in your fifteens. :D
Mmm.. there are a lot more to say. I think I'd just write 'em down lah. Expect my letter soon, SQUEEE :D I wonder where your ashes are. Maybe in a river or on a mountain in the Himalayas, like on The Bucket List. Or maybe with your mom? ARH, my head.
See you then.

The one who toohs you, Alex.
P.S. I love you!