Friday, May 20, 2011

failure.

I'm not a stranger to failure.
I know it, I don't care much about it, I am irritated by it, I can't help it, I am not good enough.
But I can't fail now.


I ask for strength.

Friday, April 29, 2011

she's a genius.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor.

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet.

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else
and they hope that they're mistaken.

No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say,
"We've got some bad news, sir."
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious
Ha, ha
Ha, ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for.

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
is a pair of hateful eyes.
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,

We're all laughing with God.
xxx
Laughing With - Regina Spektor

Sunday, April 24, 2011

this night is sparkling

Taylor Swift - Enchanted
xxx
I went to the Country Barn with my mom last Friday. Can I just say IT WAS DAMN COOL
:D
Every Friday at the Country Barn pub, they have this whole country night on. The band, "Ghost Riders" play country music the whole night and people dance along to the music on the dance floor. Of course, the age range was a little older, but dancing is ageless.
:3
My mom pointed out the regulars hahaha! Throughout the night she ordered me drinks: let's see, there were 2 dry martinis, a Campari Orange and a bacardi coke.
....
I'm very unattractive half-drunk. Hahahahahaha. My body was radiating heat and i was pink all over. And giggly. But I still had my wits. :P
I danced a waltz for the first time with this guy named Harith Hess. It was amazing, so exhilarating.

I slept well that night. :)
xxx

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The crossroad, a.k.a. the interview.

JPA scholarship interview that is. I got chosen for an interview in UiTM Section 17 campus, Shah Alam. (Tip for those going in the future: CHECK THE BLOODY PLACE OUT. Google Maps is misleading and there are quite a few branches of UiTM. If it is still in UiTM that is. Best to check it out anyway. :) )

After Chemistry class, I went straight over and slept a bit in the car. I woke up to my dad cursing because we were at the wrong UiTM and he really didn't know where to go anymore. I had to be there at 3.15, and it was already 3 so you can imagine the cold sweat ahahaha.

We dropped by an office in the campus and asked the Malay ladies how to get to the other campus. The gentle lady took like 5 minutes explaining how to get OUT of the campus itself so Pa was like. I have no time, is it okay if we borrowed a kakak. HAHAHA

It so happened that that day, they were understaffed so nobody could go along with us to guide us. Thank God there was this Indian guy there who was willing to lead us out then guide us from there. He was dressed in a neon orange shirt, black working pants and shoes and a white hard hat.

On his motorbike, he led us to the exit then tried to explain the way to Pa, but Pa was so damn nervous he straight out asked the guy to follow us. And the Indian guy agreed! So all the way to the other campus we were like, thank you thank you thank you so much. Hahahaha.

After the interview we found out that his name was Said and that he was Mamak.

Pa was like, God sent me an Indian-Muslim angel.

So 1Malaysia right.

xxx

I went donned in a royal blue baju kurung Kedah I bought when I was in Form 1. I'd say 50%-50% were wearing baju kurung and formal attire respectively. There were so many parents waiting around for their kids and there were these areas where parents were marked off, make them so anxious or kan cheong only. :O

In my group I was the first, probably because my name starts with an A.

I was pretty surprised that they didn't require us to bring our portfolios in, we all just gave our respective portfolios to the admin people to flip through. What are the certs for then? D:

When we got in, we all had to introduce ourselves. They cut me off when I was talking about my extracurricular achievements, I'm not too sure if that's okay. If they deem it unimportant then oh well, they have the paperwork to look at anyway :)

They asked me why my name was so weird and if my parents were Chinese... because I don't look quite Chinese.. and what the meaning of tikus membaiki labu meant. Hahahahaha

Sorry. I find that quite funny :D

They also asked me where would I go, why not Malaysia, what trait do you think a doctor should have and so on and so forth. I think I was pretty lucky not to have the group discussion thing. I wasn't that nervous after a while, because the interviewers were really nice. Except for the third one, he just observed and didn't say a word.

"Make yourself comfortable," they said.

They were really smart in their formal attire, all suited up ;D but they smiled. So we just talked.

The only guy in our group sat next to me, I don't know his name ; - ; he was so adorable! He wanted to become a gynaecologist/obstetrician and deliver babies because he wanted to have the feeling of being the first to hold the baby when it comes into the world. And he teaches taekwondo, he's black belt. I was like.

You darling thing. Come I bring you home.

HAHAHAHA

But that was inside my mind, cannot say out loud... xD

I smiled a lot to myself. I hope they didn't find it weird. I try to make a straight face and keep it in but it comes out anyway.

And I laughed quite a fair bit. D:

I was talking about someone being sick then he said, it's such a serious thing why are you laughing? I replied because that someone gave me the inspiration to become a doctor. ;D

LIKE. A. BOSS.

Or not.

I told them I felt really lucky to be there because we were sesat-ed for a while. Whatever the outcome, being there was enough.

Because, I'm good enough. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

as the kellogs tiger says, i'm grrrrrreat.

The orchestra show was great! It was fun to go with the Alex Leong :D I met a few other people as well, but the only one I remember is Shaun. :)
Ugh, why is the MPO so good.
At first I was like "Hey I remember that double bass guy, the chief violinist and the long haired celloist!" But then I remembered the orchestra is made up the same people and won't change anyway so. So.... = . =
The harpist was cute.
Hahahaha.
They played mostly American works that day, with one Mozart "Toy Symphony" and a Rimsky-Korsakov piece as well. And that famous theme song Rise of the Valkyries! (: NOW I know its name hahaha.
xxx
Today I got my SPM results.
I was more nervous about what to wear than what I'd get hahahaha! All As, with one A- for Moral. = . =
Leanne and Hema did well! :) Yes joo did Leanne ;D
Wei Xuan doesn't want to tell me what she got ; - ; but I'm sure she did great too. :)
That's it for today I guess? My writing mojo has gone for a holiday :D
xxx
OI CAT. Get a chatbox, you ass. :P

Friday, March 11, 2011

locked.

You know the feeling when you're looking at someone and the other looks back and then you guys don't avert your eyes?
Just lock gazes for a bit.
hee.
xxx
It's an hour past midnight and the night is so cold due to the rain since morning.
The cat is going crazy, jumping here and there. TRYING TO SCARE ME ARE YOU.
:p
Got an orchestra performance to look forward to tomorrow! :) Tell you all about it when I get back.

Friday, March 4, 2011

the little things.

买了菜 她跟他慢慢的炒着菜
Mai le cai / ta gen ta man man de chao zhe cai
Bought some food, she slowly cooks a meal with him

他为她赶回家走得快
Ta wei ta an hui jia zou de kuai
Because of her, he quickly returns home

爱无处不在 可是呼之却不来
Ai wu chu bu zai ke shi hu zhi que bu lai
Love is ever-present, but when calling for it, it doesn't come

小阳台 她拿走死掉的小盆栽
Xiao yang tai tan a zou si diao de xiao pen zai
On the balcony, she takes away the dead potted plants

他对着啤酒杯等下载
Ta dui zhe pi jiu bei deng xia zai
He's drinking beer waiting for a download

爱无处不在 可是到处有悲哀
Ai wu chu bu zai ke shi dao chu you bei ai
Love is ever-present, but sadness is everywhere

爱在大街上小路上每个人海
Ai zai da jie shang xiao lu shang mei ge ren hai
Love is in the main streets, in the small streets, in the midst of the crowds of people

谁却爱在小岛上不愿离开
Shei que ai zai xiao dao shang bu yuan li kai
Who goes back to love on a small island, unwilling to leave

难道爱在不该爱的时候才爱
Nan dao ai zai bu gai ai de shi hou cai ai
How is it that when love isn't supposed to be there, love is there

就算百步以外总有爱在 爱在
Jiu suan bai bu yi wai zong you ai zai ai zai
Even if it is one hundred steps away, love is still there, love is there

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang hun kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白 只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

那是爱 到头来也发现这是爱
Na shi ai dao tou lai ye fa xian zhe shi ai
That is love, in the end I realized this is love

流泪的 微笑的 都是爱
Liu lei de wei xiao de dou shi ai
Crying, smiling, it's still love

管它好与坏 总是呼之却不来
Guan ta hao yu huai zong shi hu zhi que bu lai
Took care of it well but it still turned bad, still calling for love but it doesn't come

雪花白 永远都渴望看桃花开
Xue hua bai yong yuan dou ke wang kan tao hua kai
The snowflake's whiteness, I always wished to see the peach tree blossom

梁山伯辜负了祝英台*
Liang Shan Bo gu fu le Zhu Ying Tai*
Liang Shan Bo let down Zhu Ying Tai*

在何年何代 总是到处有悲哀
Zai he nian he dai zong shi dao chu you bei ai
At whatever year, whatever era, sadness is still everywhere

爱在阳光下 烛光下 每点尘埃
Ai zai yang guang xia zhu guang xia mei dian chen ai
Love is under the sunshine, under the candle light, every speck of dust

谁却爱在黑暗里不愿离开
Shei que ai zai hei an li bu yuan li kai
Who goes back to love in the darkness, unwilling to leave

难道爱在不该爱的时候才爱
Nan dao ai zai bu gai ai de shi hou cai ai
How is it that when love isn't supposed to be there, love is there

就算百步以外总有爱在 爱在
Jiu suan bai bu yi wai zong you ai zai ai zai
Even if it is one hundred steps away, love is still there, love is there

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang han kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白 只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

从来微风都靠树枝摇摆
Cong lai wei feng dou kao shu zhi yao bai
The gentle breeze always depended on swaying of the tree branch

从来种子都靠春泥破开
Cong lai zhong zi dou kao chun ni po kai
The seeds always depended on spring soil to help it grow

所有人世间的美好都存在
Suo you ren shi jian de mei hao dou cun zai
All of the world's beauty exists

就算看不到都依然存在
Jiu suan kan bu dao dou yi ran cun zai
Even if you can't see it, it still exists

在意料之外
Zai yi liao zhi wai
It exists outside of expectations

我的女孩 你快走过来
Wo de nu hai ni kuai zou guo lai
My girl, quickly come over

爱在期待 (爱在 爱在)
Ai zai qi dai (ai zai ai zai)
Love is in anticipation (love is there, love is there)

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

我们无处不在 爱
Wo men wu chu bu zai ai
Our ever-present love

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang hun kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白 只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

我爱在楼下找谁的门牌
Wo ai zai lou xia zhao shei de men pai
My love is downstairs looking for whose house number

你爱在途上靠谁的胸怀
Ni ai zai tu shang kao shei de xiong huai
Your love is on the way depending on whose mind

我们都要爱偏偏分开无奈
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian fen kai wu nai
We want love but end up helplessly separating

不能明白 只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

*Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai is a Chinese Opera story based on the Chinese classic story of the Butterfly Lovers, it is almost like a Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_Lovers
xxx
Khalil Fong - Ai Zai

xxx
I am completely in love with your lyrics.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

had a great day

Went out on Saturday with Huan Hee. :D
It was great! We first went to Midvalley to get her skinny jeans from Cache Cache, which is kind of a long story in itself xD The store was really cute, poppy and full of colour. I'd love to go back, despite Huan Hee being pissed at them.
Hahaha.
I was walking around on my own first; I passed this store and accidentally made eye contact with a cute guy working in there. I passed Guardian because I was looking for mascara and comparing the prices of Eclipse mints at a few places. RM5.20 there by the way. Then this pretty promoter for Qutie Coat came up to me and started speaking to me in Mandarin. (My biggest weakness would be someone speaking to me in a language other than English.)

I was stunned, she chatted with me all the way using Mandarin although mine was stunted. She took my hand and started applying the whitening cream thing on my skin gently. :D~
To my surprise my hand were two-coloured after she cleaned my hand! My face was like O.O WOW HAHAHA SO WEIRD, O.O, she was telling me this is a semi-permanent coat that deflects UV rays, SPF and all that. I thanked her and made my way to the LG North Court because that's where Huan Hee'd meet me. I rubbed at my whiter hand to see if the coat would come off but it didn't budge. (it faded a bit at the end of the day though.)
I remembered my Eclipse mints mission and checked the price at the Aeon pharmacy. I walked in like a crab, checking the racks at the cashier stand. RM5.50 :O then I noticed the cashier lady smiling at me, I laughed awkwardly, said thank you and ran out of the store hahahaha!
Huan Hee this is what I do without you :O
Then, she took me to makan porridge at I Love Yoo! It was pretty good, and seriously sangat cheap. RM4 for thick porridge and yao zha kuih, they were filling.
Huan Hee was on a recognizing people roll, it was so funny. It's like "HEY SO-AND-SO!" "Oh hey you work here!" "oh that was my junior, one year younger."
Wah 8D i didn't see anyone i knew hahahaha.
And then we passed the store where I said there was a cute guy, and I told her.
"HH HH just now I passed this store and there was this reeeeeally cute guy working in there!"
"Oh, my friend works here, I think I'll say hi."
LOLLLLLLL HER FRIEND
So malu.
Hahahahahahahaha.
We made our way to KL Sentral using the KTM, which was so slow: 3 trains passed on the other side before ours came. Hahahaha! Huan Hee was so happy when the train came, after a not-so-very-quiet cursing session behind an advertisement board.
We made our way to the monorail and went on to Sungai Wang, one of my favourite places.
Went around window shopping, stopping here and there to buy small stuff, watched Korean cosmetics CFs, then before we knew it it was time to go.
OH YEAH, there was free Cornetto ice cream given out that day!!!
Huan Hee took strawberry, I took chocolate and we had an extra chocolate ice cream we didn't know what to do with. So I was like,
"I'm gonna give this to a random person 8D"
And then I did!
xD
He was like, "for ME?"
aww :D

Monday, February 21, 2011

play cops and robbers, cops and robbers.

Cops and Robbers - The Hoosiers
Nabilah would love this song heee.
xxx
The pay phones at KDU don't work at all, they're all dead. D:
Life in college is great. There's this guy that reminds me SO MUCH of slow, just because of the aura he has! D: they're probably the same height-wise though.
Everything else isn't really the same. Still, I'm drawn.
Cops and robbers with hearts ehh. ;D

put up your barricades, continue your charade

Money To Be Made - The Hoosiers
xxx
Goodbye Mr AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA was by them and i heard their other songs on Live on Abbey Road. :D WTF. They're really good.
And the cute accent helps. Hahaha
xxx
This is what i've been feeling lately, neither happy nor sad.
Smiling for others, not because i'm truly happy.
Is that bad?
Maybe I've just fallen into a routine without a special someone to confide in, like nano nano or private fly number 1.
I'm scared.
I'm nervous.
I'm aching.
But I'm not sad.