enchanted to meet you.

let's go quiet to the park where it first started

2011-11-28T03:34:00.000-08:00

26 NOV 2011 ♥

xxx

In Your Arms - Kina Grannis

xxx

♥ you kina

2011-11-23T04:28:00.000-08:00

Ours To Keep - Kina Grannis

xxx

How does circumstance
Seem to cost us every chance
At living out the truth in our hearts

It seems the best laid plans
Fall just outside our hands
And leave us broken down and far apart

But if faith plays a role
I know someday I'll hold you in my arms forevermore

So let's love like it's ours to keep
Love like we've always dreamed
And maybe this time
The fates will be kind to us
So let's love like it's ours to keep

I wish there was a way
That we could somehow stay
In this perfect moment in time

I'd give up everything
Cause this is all I dream about
Whenever I'm alone inside my mind

I pray faith plays a role
So that someday I'll hold you in my arms forevermore

So let's love like it's ours to keep
Love like we've always dreamed
And maybe this time
The fates will be kind to us
So let's love like its ours to keep

So let's love like it's ours to keep
Love like we've always dreamed
And maybe this time
The fates will be kind to us
So let's love like it's ours to keep

xxx

What if he read the last post? HAHA facepalm :D

Because.. I would wait till he was okay with this thing we have.

And I realized 3 months is actually quite a short time hahaha i fail :D

xxx

It's hard to be in touch with him.

When I'm awake he'd be sleeping, and when he's up I'll be dreaming.

(I mean I sleep a lot but STILL)

My idea of having someone to hold actually didn't have this, I thought it'd be spending a lot of time with each other just talking or whiling away the time being happy and silly.

But time apart just makes me appreciate time with him more, and longing to see him makes seeing him even sweeter. I miss him so, but everything will be okay.

"I know someday I'll hold you in my arms."

Till my arms hurt teehee :)

heavyhearted

2011-11-19T06:07:00.000-08:00

It's not everyday someone likes me.

It's even rarer that someone I like likes me.

So why the hell am I being so stupid about it?

I want him to want me as much as I want to be with him.

Because I am impatient, I tend to initiate things when he says we'd take it slow.

Take it slow my foot!

Then stop making me melt everytime you say sayang, kiss me on the head and cheek, hug me, say you like me and all that shit couples do!

Wtf?

Because I mentioned liking you, you say it back.

I don't want to push you in the direction of asking me,

I want you to ask because you'd want someone special to hold.

I hate feeling this unreasonable.

And then he goes around being accepting and sweet.

-_________-

pms-ing much?

Sigh.

hello ginsky!

2011-10-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

:D welcome to Of Music and Sundays! :D

hahaha

xxx

So.................. readers?

I do like him.

Just thought you'd like to know for sure.

How to...

2011-10-09T02:05:00.000-07:00

React when you stare at someone and they look back!
xxx
I gaze at people a lot.
So what do you do in that awkward moment where they catch you staring?
Hahahaha

1. Don't break eye contact! That would make it all weird and awkward and make you seem like a pervertius giganticus. :3

Look back and keep eye contact.

2. Nod politely
This is to acknowledge that they exist and yes, you were looking at them. Because you were. Don't deny it, it's too late for that.

3. Smile a little (optional)
This is if.. you were staring at someone who interests you. You want to project your good image yes?

4. Look away
Because it's what you wanted to do in the first place. :P hahaha

Now you know how to react when you stare at someone and they look back!

THE END
xxx

yes, you can hold my hand if you want to

2011-10-05T03:52:00.000-07:00

Because I want to hold yours too.

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

xxx

Can you guess what happened to me?

hahaha

xxx

We went to Pasar Seni to find our way to Petaling Street using a map courtesy of Google.

He held my hand the whole way (:

I was absolutely speechless.

The way he held my hand was perfect.

At first he grabbed my hand and pulled me lightly in the right direction, and normally we'd let go after that.
But I lingered and held on to his last two fingers as I followed him from behind.

I was already so happy,

and he somehow manoeuvred his hand and put his fingers through mine, at the ends.

I couldn't speak.

My heart was somewhere in the clouds,

I didn't let go or reject it.

So in one subtle move, he opened his hand and laced his fingers through mine thoroughly.

All I could do was smile till my cheeks hurt.

When he looked, I kept it in, or looked away.

/melt

ethanethiol

2011-09-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

I want you to know that,

YOU LOOK SO INCREDIBLY CUTE WHEN YOU CRY

That is all.

xxx

Okay, that is not all. Hahaha

I'll always be here for you.

I love you! :3 hahaha it's really unexplainable how I love you SO MUCH after only a short time of knowing you. Like we grew up in the same house, laugh at the same things and know what the other's going to say.

It feels like I haven't seen or hugged you in such a long time <3

Smelliest compound in existence, that's you I'm talking about HAHA

insecurities

2011-09-28T02:18:00.000-07:00

Do I mean something to you?
You make everything seem so easy.

Like you do it everyday; it may not be as significant to you as it is for me.

Because after all, this is my first time.

Normally I'd take a few months to really get to know someone's quirks and character, then develop feelings. But you just walked in, charmed the hell out of me with your quiet strength and your subtle ways. You test my limits, you dance around me in circles of flattery and pretty words. The little things you do make me smile and the things you make me do put me on edge. Like, REALLY on edge.

I don't even know if I really like you that way yet.

I know that there's this little bud in me,

and if I let you hold my hand it will bloom slowly, surely and really sweetly.

But that's not playing fair is it!

It's like I'm not truly liking you for you, I'm liking you because you're interested enough in me to want to hold my hand! And it doesn't even seem like much to you D:

Shit I'm so confused.

wow

2011-09-20T02:55:00.001-07:00

This isn't a coincidence right? Because you seem to answer all my unsaid questions.

xxx

That's how it is isn't it?

Try,

don't try,

it's still going to hurt.

So just go with it and you won't lose anything.

xxx

Hahaha thanks for reminding me of why I want to feel this with another (:

I want my heart to be lifted indescribably high,

filled till it overflows with mixed emotions

and broken into bits and pieces

by someone who wants me for me.

Because then you'd know I really care. :3 heehee

And after that if I cry, I'll do it without much regret because

I want this.

And I will say it to your face.

Break my heart.

V ^^ V

i fall into a pile on the floor

2011-09-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill

H-H-Heaven help me.
xxx

Could you, like, not make me melt like that?

Speechless alex is no fun.
xxx
It's been raining a lot a lot A LOT lately.
So nice.
I could sleep the whole day long---
if my dad let me.

T - T

grace just isn't my forté

2011-09-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill

When you're near, I hide my blushing face and trip on my shoelaces. :D
xxx
Hahahah the title says it all.
I'm a bumbling,
clumsy,
awkward,
artless,
gauche thing.

):
I try to be all graceful and precise, but it just doesn't want to become me.
Bish.
xxx

I try to be patient and calm, but you put me on edge.
Do I really interest you?
Am I just a placeholder?
I want to make you happy,
yet I know we cannot possibly last.
Do I have the heart to make and break you? God knows it's hard to leave someone, and harder when someone leaves you.

Should we enjoy our time together, or do we speculate about the future?
mehhhhhhhhu.

i love the way you say good morning

2011-09-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

xxx

I love saying good morning.

It's like saying, hey you're in my morning, you are the first thing I see in the day and it makes me happy. :3 That's what I feel anyway.

It's intimate, yet polite.

xxx

Happy Malaysia Day! (:

I promise to write something of substance soon. I want to write so badly, but I forgot what I came here to write. ):

See you then? (:

say what?

2011-09-12T03:19:00.000-07:00

DISTINCTION FOR GRADE 8 B*TCHEZ!

I love you all,

so, so much.

nightmares

2011-09-11T00:37:00.000-07:00

Chasing me, it's always chasing me.

I don't even know what it is.

It just chases me.

Corners me,

suffocates me,

drives me into a dead end.

I cannot take this fear.

xxx

I had a dream that the car i drove fell backwards into a body of water. Water entered and took over my vision.

I was going to die,

and I knew it.

Someone unlocked the doors, and I was like

Thank God.

Rushed to open the car door.

Everything sinking.

No oxygen.

Can't breathe.

And I woke up grasping at the air,

wanting to cry.

if you were an ice cream flavour

2011-09-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

You would be my favourite one.

All About Your Heart - Mindy Gledhill

xxx

Hello :D how you been!

My practical exam went okay...

My scales were HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS

then everything picked up after that. Pieces flew beautifully, and I enjoyed playing them.

My examiner was a tall British man called Jonathan Beatty. His eyes were a beautiful, clear blue-green and greeted me with polite warmth. Before I played Month's Mind by John Ireland, I said "I hope you like Ireland." And he was like "I love Ireland."

:DDD

He even thanked me after playing it, saying he doesn't hear it enough.

Heheh.

My last one about describing the piece and period was kind of off though.. but what's done is done. I regret ONLY THE SCALES.

xxx

I went on my first date yesterday.

xxx

I didn't even know for sure that it was a date...

But I loved every moment. I enjoyed his company very much and that's kinda all there is to it.

We had lunch and he paid,

we had ice cream,

and we walked and talked.

I love the way he touches; respectful yet intimate.

I like the way he looks at me; assessing, warm, direct. Honest. Predatory sometimes. D:

I hate the way he always compliments me to fluster me that bastard

And I love to make him smile.

All in all, a gorgeous day.

She says I'm a masochist for falling for you

2011-08-04T06:37:00.000-07:00

Masochist - Ingrid Michaelson

xxx

Recently my friend made me realize something: I fall for guys that have a 100% chance of letting me down. Arrogant, good-looking, never gonna fall for me types.

I'm not masochistic by my own conscious doing..

I swear ; - ;

xxx

My practical exam for Grade 8 piano is coming up.

Wish me luck!

Hello, remember me?

2011-07-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

xxx

My subconscious has been really confused of late.

It's not the kind of confusion that puzzles you actively every minute of the day.

It's more like.. a background sort of thing that eats at you from the inside.

I shouldn't be confused, says the rational mind. But I've never felt this before..

You know that magic banter between two people who are interested in each other? It's easy, it's fluid, full of compliments that might or might not be true, perceived through rose-tinted glasses. The way the other's smile looks somewhat different from normal smiles, this one sort of lights up the whole face. And you say, I never knew I could do that.

And then you smile back like the sun.

Then doubts kick in.

Maybe it's just how you are used to interacting with girls..

Maybe it's just going to fall apart like the rest before..

Maybe I'M OVERTHINKING

Yeah.

If you want me, chase me. I'm not going to fall head over heels then roll over ninja-style and stand up again because nobody catches me.

:3 hwaiting.

I'll be waiting.

xxx

I realize that no matter what distractions try to do to me,

you'll always be there.

Even though we haven't known each other for long, I want you to know that I love you.

I never ever want to feel that I couldn't say I love you because it's too late.

failure.

2011-05-20T00:35:00.001-07:00

I'm not a stranger to failure.
I know it, I don't care much about it, I am irritated by it, I can't help it, I am not good enough.
But I can't fail now.

I ask for strength.

she's a genius.

2011-04-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor.

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet.

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else
and they hope that they're mistaken.

No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say,
"We've got some bad news, sir."
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious
Ha, ha
Ha, ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for.

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
is a pair of hateful eyes.
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes.

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head
you think that they're about to choke.

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus.
God can be so hilarious.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,
No one's laughing at God,

We're all laughing with God.
xxx
Laughing With - Regina Spektor

this night is sparkling

2011-04-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

Taylor Swift - Enchanted
xxx
I went to the Country Barn with my mom last Friday. Can I just say IT WAS DAMN COOL
:D
Every Friday at the Country Barn pub, they have this whole country night on. The band, "Ghost Riders" play country music the whole night and people dance along to the music on the dance floor. Of course, the age range was a little older, but dancing is ageless.
:3
My mom pointed out the regulars hahaha! Throughout the night she ordered me drinks: let's see, there were 2 dry martinis, a Campari Orange and a bacardi coke.
....
I'm very unattractive half-drunk. Hahahahahaha. My body was radiating heat and i was pink all over. And giggly. But I still had my wits. :P
I danced a waltz for the first time with this guy named Harith Hess. It was amazing, so exhilarating.
I slept well that night. :)
xxx

The crossroad, a.k.a. the interview.

2011-04-17T04:28:00.000-07:00

JPA scholarship interview that is. I got chosen for an interview in UiTM Section 17 campus, Shah Alam. (Tip for those going in the future: CHECK THE BLOODY PLACE OUT. Google Maps is misleading and there are quite a few branches of UiTM. If it is still in UiTM that is. Best to check it out anyway. :) )

After Chemistry class, I went straight over and slept a bit in the car. I woke up to my dad cursing because we were at the wrong UiTM and he really didn't know where to go anymore. I had to be there at 3.15, and it was already 3 so you can imagine the cold sweat ahahaha.

We dropped by an office in the campus and asked the Malay ladies how to get to the other campus. The gentle lady took like 5 minutes explaining how to get OUT of the campus itself so Pa was like. I have no time, is it okay if we borrowed a kakak. HAHAHA

It so happened that that day, they were understaffed so nobody could go along with us to guide us. Thank God there was this Indian guy there who was willing to lead us out then guide us from there. He was dressed in a neon orange shirt, black working pants and shoes and a white hard hat.

On his motorbike, he led us to the exit then tried to explain the way to Pa, but Pa was so damn nervous he straight out asked the guy to follow us. And the Indian guy agreed! So all the way to the other campus we were like, thank you thank you thank you so much. Hahahaha.

After the interview we found out that his name was Said and that he was Mamak.

Pa was like, God sent me an Indian-Muslim angel.

So 1Malaysia right.

xxx

I went donned in a royal blue baju kurung Kedah I bought when I was in Form 1. I'd say 50%-50% were wearing baju kurung and formal attire respectively. There were so many parents waiting around for their kids and there were these areas where parents were marked off, make them so anxious or kan cheong only. :O

In my group I was the first, probably because my name starts with an A.

I was pretty surprised that they didn't require us to bring our portfolios in, we all just gave our respective portfolios to the admin people to flip through. What are the certs for then? D:

When we got in, we all had to introduce ourselves. They cut me off when I was talking about my extracurricular achievements, I'm not too sure if that's okay. If they deem it unimportant then oh well, they have the paperwork to look at anyway :)

They asked me why my name was so weird and if my parents were Chinese... because I don't look quite Chinese.. and what the meaning of tikus membaiki labu meant. Hahahahaha

Sorry. I find that quite funny :D

They also asked me where would I go, why not Malaysia, what trait do you think a doctor should have and so on and so forth. I think I was pretty lucky not to have the group discussion thing. I wasn't that nervous after a while, because the interviewers were really nice. Except for the third one, he just observed and didn't say a word.

"Make yourself comfortable," they said.

They were really smart in their formal attire, all suited up ;D but they smiled. So we just talked.

The only guy in our group sat next to me, I don't know his name ; - ; he was so adorable! He wanted to become a gynaecologist/obstetrician and deliver babies because he wanted to have the feeling of being the first to hold the baby when it comes into the world. And he teaches taekwondo, he's black belt. I was like.

You darling thing. Come I bring you home.

HAHAHAHA

But that was inside my mind, cannot say out loud... xD

I smiled a lot to myself. I hope they didn't find it weird. I try to make a straight face and keep it in but it comes out anyway.

And I laughed quite a fair bit. D:

I was talking about someone being sick then he said, it's such a serious thing why are you laughing? I replied because that someone gave me the inspiration to become a doctor. ;D

LIKE. A. BOSS.

Or not.

I told them I felt really lucky to be there because we were sesat-ed for a while. Whatever the outcome, being there was enough.

Because, I'm good enough. :)

as the kellogs tiger says, i'm grrrrrreat.

2011-03-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

The orchestra show was great! It was fun to go with the Alex Leong :D I met a few other people as well, but the only one I remember is Shaun. :)
Ugh, why is the MPO so good.
At first I was like "Hey I remember that double bass guy, the chief violinist and the long haired celloist!" But then I remembered the orchestra is made up the same people and won't change anyway so. So.... = . =
The harpist was cute.
Hahahaha.
They played mostly American works that day, with one Mozart "Toy Symphony" and a Rimsky-Korsakov piece as well. And that famous theme song Rise of the Valkyries! (: NOW I know its name hahaha.
xxx
Today I got my SPM results.
I was more nervous about what to wear than what I'd get hahahaha! All As, with one A- for Moral. = . =
Leanne and Hema did well! :) Yes joo did Leanne ;D
Wei Xuan doesn't want to tell me what she got ; - ; but I'm sure she did great too. :)
That's it for today I guess? My writing mojo has gone for a holiday :D
xxx
OI CAT. Get a chatbox, you ass. :P

locked.

2011-03-11T08:13:00.000-08:00

You know the feeling when you're looking at someone and the other looks back and then you guys don't avert your eyes?
Just lock gazes for a bit.
hee.
xxx
It's an hour past midnight and the night is so cold due to the rain since morning.
The cat is going crazy, jumping here and there. TRYING TO SCARE ME ARE YOU.
:p
Got an orchestra performance to look forward to tomorrow! :) Tell you all about it when I get back.

the little things.

2011-03-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

买了菜她跟他慢慢的炒着菜
Mai le cai / ta gen ta man man de chao zhe cai
Bought some food, she slowly cooks a meal with him

他为她赶回家走得快
Ta wei ta an hui jia zou de kuai
Because of her, he quickly returns home

爱无处不在可是呼之却不来
Ai wu chu bu zai ke shi hu zhi que bu lai
Love is ever-present, but when calling for it, it doesn't come

小阳台她拿走死掉的小盆栽
Xiao yang tai tan a zou si diao de xiao pen zai
On the balcony, she takes away the dead potted plants

他对着啤酒杯等下载
Ta dui zhe pi jiu bei deng xia zai
He's drinking beer waiting for a download

爱无处不在可是到处有悲哀
Ai wu chu bu zai ke shi dao chu you bei ai
Love is ever-present, but sadness is everywhere

爱在大街上小路上每个人海
Ai zai da jie shang xiao lu shang mei ge ren hai
Love is in the main streets, in the small streets, in the midst of the crowds of people

谁却爱在小岛上不愿离开
Shei que ai zai xiao dao shang bu yuan li kai
Who goes back to love on a small island, unwilling to leave

难道爱在不该爱的时候才爱
Nan dao ai zai bu gai ai de shi hou cai ai
How is it that when love isn't supposed to be there, love is there

就算百步以外总有爱在爱在
Jiu suan bai bu yi wai zong you ai zai ai zai
Even if it is one hundred steps away, love is still there, love is there

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang hun kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

那是爱到头来也发现这是爱
Na shi ai dao tou lai ye fa xian zhe shi ai
That is love, in the end I realized this is love

流泪的微笑的都是爱
Liu lei de wei xiao de dou shi ai
Crying, smiling, it's still love

管它好与坏总是呼之却不来
Guan ta hao yu huai zong shi hu zhi que bu lai
Took care of it well but it still turned bad, still calling for love but it doesn't come

雪花白永远都渴望看桃花开
Xue hua bai yong yuan dou ke wang kan tao hua kai
The snowflake's whiteness, I always wished to see the peach tree blossom

梁山伯辜负了祝英台*
Liang Shan Bo gu fu le Zhu Ying Tai*
Liang Shan Bo let down Zhu Ying Tai*

在何年何代总是到处有悲哀
Zai he nian he dai zong shi dao chu you bei ai
At whatever year, whatever era, sadness is still everywhere

爱在阳光下烛光下每点尘埃
Ai zai yang guang xia zhu guang xia mei dian chen ai
Love is under the sunshine, under the candle light, every speck of dust

谁却爱在黑暗里不愿离开
Shei que ai zai hei an li bu yuan li kai
Who goes back to love in the darkness, unwilling to leave

难道爱在不该爱的时候才爱
Nan dao ai zai bu gai ai de shi hou cai ai
How is it that when love isn't supposed to be there, love is there

就算百步以外总有爱在爱在
Jiu suan bai bu yi wai zong you ai zai ai zai
Even if it is one hundred steps away, love is still there, love is there

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang han kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

从来微风都靠树枝摇摆
Cong lai wei feng dou kao shu zhi yao bai
The gentle breeze always depended on swaying of the tree branch

从来种子都靠春泥破开
Cong lai zhong zi dou kao chun ni po kai
The seeds always depended on spring soil to help it grow

所有人世间的美好都存在
Suo you ren shi jian de mei hao dou cun zai
All of the world's beauty exists

就算看不到都依然存在
Jiu suan kan bu dao dou yi ran cun zai
Even if you can't see it, it still exists

在意料之外
Zai yi liao zhi wai
It exists outside of expectations

我的女孩你快走过来
Wo de nu hai ni kuai zou guo lai
My girl, quickly come over

爱在期待 (爱在爱在)
Ai zai qi dai (ai zai ai zai)
Love is in anticipation (love is there, love is there)

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

我们无处不在爱
Wo men wu chu bu zai ai
Our ever-present love

我爱在黄昏看谁的刘海
Wo ai zai huang hun kan shei de liu hai
My love is there, looking at whose bangs in the evening

你爱在清早打谁的领带
Ni ai zai qing zao da shei de ling dai
Your love is there, tying whose neck tie in the morning

我们都要爱偏偏无法同在
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian wu fa tong zai
We want love but never end up with it

不能明白只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

我爱在楼下找谁的门牌
Wo ai zai lou xia zhao shei de men pai
My love is downstairs looking for whose house number

你爱在途上靠谁的胸怀
Ni ai zai tu shang kao shei de xiong huai
Your love is on the way depending on whose mind

我们都要爱偏偏分开无奈
Wo men dou yao ai pian pian fen kai wu nai
We want love but end up helplessly separating

不能明白只能够期待
Bu neng ming bai zhi neng gou qi dai
Can't understand it, we can only look forward to it

爱无处不在
Ai wu chu bu zai
Love is ever-present

*Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai is a Chinese Opera story based on the Chinese classic story of the Butterfly Lovers, it is almost like a Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_Lovers
xxx
Khalil Fong - Ai Zai
xxx
I am completely in love with your lyrics.

had a great day

2011-02-27T04:06:00.000-08:00

Went out on Saturday with Huan Hee. :D
It was great! We first went to Midvalley to get her skinny jeans from Cache Cache, which is kind of a long story in itself xD The store was really cute, poppy and full of colour. I'd love to go back, despite Huan Hee being pissed at them.
Hahaha.
I was walking around on my own first; I passed this store and accidentally made eye contact with a cute guy working in there. I passed Guardian because I was looking for mascara and comparing the prices of Eclipse mints at a few places. RM5.20 there by the way. Then this pretty promoter for Qutie Coat came up to me and started speaking to me in Mandarin. (My biggest weakness would be someone speaking to me in a language other than English.)
I was stunned, she chatted with me all the way using Mandarin although mine was stunted. She took my hand and started applying the whitening cream thing on my skin gently. :D~
To my surprise my hand were two-coloured after she cleaned my hand! My face was like O.O WOW HAHAHA SO WEIRD, O.O, she was telling me this is a semi-permanent coat that deflects UV rays, SPF and all that. I thanked her and made my way to the LG North Court because that's where Huan Hee'd meet me. I rubbed at my whiter hand to see if the coat would come off but it didn't budge. (it faded a bit at the end of the day though.)
I remembered my Eclipse mints mission and checked the price at the Aeon pharmacy. I walked in like a crab, checking the racks at the cashier stand. RM5.50 :O then I noticed the cashier lady smiling at me, I laughed awkwardly, said thank you and ran out of the store hahahaha!
Huan Hee this is what I do without you :O
Then, she took me to makan porridge at I Love Yoo! It was pretty good, and seriously sangat cheap. RM4 for thick porridge and yao zha kuih, they were filling.
Huan Hee was on a recognizing people roll, it was so funny. It's like "HEY SO-AND-SO!" "Oh hey you work here!" "oh that was my junior, one year younger."
Wah 8D i didn't see anyone i knew hahahaha.
And then we passed the store where I said there was a cute guy, and I told her.
"HH HH just now I passed this store and there was this reeeeeally cute guy working in there!"
"Oh, my friend works here, I think I'll say hi."
LOLLLLLLL HER FRIEND
So malu.
Hahahahahahahaha.
We made our way to KL Sentral using the KTM, which was so slow: 3 trains passed on the other side before ours came. Hahahaha! Huan Hee was so happy when the train came, after a not-so-very-quiet cursing session behind an advertisement board.
We made our way to the monorail and went on to Sungai Wang, one of my favourite places.
Went around window shopping, stopping here and there to buy small stuff, watched Korean cosmetics CFs, then before we knew it it was time to go.
OH YEAH, there was free Cornetto ice cream given out that day!!!
Huan Hee took strawberry, I took chocolate and we had an extra chocolate ice cream we didn't know what to do with. So I was like,
"I'm gonna give this to a random person 8D"
And then I did!
xD
He was like, "for ME?"
aww :D

play cops and robbers, cops and robbers.

2011-02-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

Cops and Robbers - The Hoosiers
Nabilah would love this song heee.
xxx
The pay phones at KDU don't work at all, they're all dead. D:
Life in college is great. There's this guy that reminds me SO MUCH of slow, just because of the aura he has! D: they're probably the same height-wise though.
Everything else isn't really the same. Still, I'm drawn.
Cops and robbers with hearts ehh. ;D

put up your barricades, continue your charade

2011-02-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

Money To Be Made - The Hoosiers
xxx
Goodbye Mr AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA was by them and i heard their other songs on Live on Abbey Road. :D WTF. They're really good.
And the cute accent helps. Hahaha
xxx
This is what i've been feeling lately, neither happy nor sad.
Smiling for others, not because i'm truly happy.
Is that bad?
Maybe I've just fallen into a routine without a special someone to confide in, like nano nano or private fly number 1.
I'm scared.
I'm nervous.
I'm aching.
But I'm not sad.

i can't believe it

2011-02-06T20:35:00.000-08:00

SH*T. SH*TSH*TSH*TSH*T
(The King's Speech)
xxx
I forgot about an assignment!! D: i hope the teacher takes it in....
...............
/cryingdramatically

:D

2011-02-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice!
In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!
I will right wrongs and triumph over evil and that means YOU!
xxx
HOHOHOHO trigonometry.
Ask me what the cosine graph is. :D

the one that you see in your dreams

2011-02-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

No More Wishing - Hayley Taylor
xxx
They say that if you see someone in your dreams,
you really want to see that person.
Why else would they be hanging around in your subconscious right.
:)
I saw him, after all this time.
I don't remember much of the dream. Just a vague smile.
x
Maybe that's why she saw me?
x
Gong Xi Fa Cai! :D

another day another year

2011-01-28T03:59:00.000-08:00

It was my birthday some 10 days ago. :)
The thing about having your birthday so early in the year is that once you start a fresh year, no one knows it's your day. I do so love being surprised by lovely people.
AND MUN YEE ESPECIALLY
She gave me a bottle of beer hahahahahhaa :'D
I was so touched.
xxx
After college, I went to Aoyama in Hartamas for dinner. I went there once, and the set lunches were affordable and so good. Because of ma we already knew the staff quite well. And we only went there once wtf. XD
So these people treat us really well! We smiled at the waiters and waitress (she was real nice), and i ate cha soba (cold soba noodles) for the first time! I've always wanted to try it :'D it was so GOOD. UMAIII SO. TOTEMO OISHII DESU.
We got free ice cream because ma insisted XD so we had wasabi, sesame, and Ocean Blue flavoured ice cream. OMG! So delicious yet unique.
.....Wasabi ice cream makes me laugh XD want to see me laugh for no reason? This is what you feed me.
Ocean Blue is a sort of salt-ish ice cream! Yet it surprised me and turned out really amazing.

Then they gave me.........
a fan :'D

Want to see it?

Huh? Huh??

Really? I'm gonna open it!

TEEHEE

I love it so much. It's so pretty. Thank you Aoyama. (:
We went home, and then we had cake. Baked classic blueberry cheese cake, one of my ultimate favourites :'D Aughh thank you guys. All your wishes made my day too. (:
Looking forward to next year's. Hahahaha.

let your heart lead blindly

2011-01-28T03:47:00.000-08:00

Let Go - Dave Lichens
xxx
Wandering around is such a such a such a PLEASURE 8D
Absolutely love it. I can watch people and sometimes catch their eye, form a weird acknowledgement kind of kinship then never meet again.
Though I always hope we meet again for those weird kinship things. I always hope for sweet unrealistic serendipities. xD
I once saw this guy, passed by him quite a few times too. Soon we recognized each other.. but then we were directly opposite each other in Kinokuniya so I smiled at him.
He smiled back! And I averted my eyes, so embarrassed. XD wtf. Then I curiously asked the lady beside me who's looking at this book called, Looking For Mr Right or something. Hahahahah and accidentally started a conversation.
So I didn't see him after that.
): /cue awwwww

you mean more than you should mean

2011-01-28T01:16:00.000-08:00

No More Wishing - Hayley Taylor

why.
xxx
I'm studying now :) in college.
So fast! :P so nerdy. hahahaha
It's going great,and being a college girl is.. i don't know.
It's making me look different D: I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT
Hahahahha
And I met someone I met two years ago, in the same class. He has that quality where i'm inexorably, unexplicably, whatwhat-bly drawn to him. I want to get to know him, talk to him. It was the same thing two years back, but he was easier with his smiles back then.
Now he... broods. WTH hahahahaha
An enigma.
Now how about that.

cuddle up

2011-01-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

cats sleep so adorably. they curl up and retain heat so efficiently, tail, paws, legs perfectly arranged into a ball.
KEKEKEKE
xxx
College life so far is interesting. Classes are super disjointed so i have small holes in my timetable but it keeps me in the college the whole bloody day!
And there are so many people!
*You should know that the way i communicate with strangers, is really quite disconcerting. I have this habit where i stare into the other's eyes before i talk to them at all. Once I talk though I get flustered and try to keep up the eye contact but look away often.
Point is I stare a lot. XD*
Sometimes i have a moment with some people, that amazing moment where you lock gazes and hold it for one second too long.
:'D I do so love those moments.
SHO YEA
How are all of you?
How's life after SPM?
Or life in general? Since I don't know who reads this dead blog anymore.xD

i feel like

2011-01-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

I want to be a bloody recluse.
Write.
Draw.
Cry.
Laugh.
Play music the whole bloody day long and wail.
But the outside world is beautiful too, coaxing me out.
The beauty pales, comes in second to her smile.

Is it so hard to believe that she's gone.
That everyone looks back fondly and nothing more.
Why am i so caught up.

Should i delete her number. her texts.
her pictures. that video of her where she refuses to swear mildly as written in the script.

That stupid turning point where i received the message second saying she won't make it.
She won't?
She didn't.

xxx

on days like these i write. i run through all my doubts.
The things i never did,never said.
It's good for my writing side.
Yeah. optimism ftw.

how close we really are

2011-01-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

"you don't matter to me.
nor you.
nor you."
deleted.

Is this where i stand in your life.

My sight is blurred by you, only you.
I'm sorry, i miss you.
I loved you so.

So much, nobody else comes close. I'm so sorry.

drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart.

2010-12-28T01:01:00.000-08:00

Howl - Florence + The Machine
xxx
I'm so addicted to this song right now. Especially when she howls with her soul.
Hello you. :)
I've been longing to draw a trilogy out for the LONGEST TIME.
I don't know what the trilogy is called, but...
#1: A Great And Terrible Beauty ( i borrowed this from bhavik and I'VE FORGOTTEN TO GIVE IT BACK. He must hate me so much now. D: )
#2: Rebel Angels (I borrowed this from yz and she didn't want it back........)
MAN. I AM SERIAL BORROWER. D:
I really want the third book, so I went over to Kinokuniya to order it :3 i cannot wait!
From day one I've been completely absorbed by these books by Libba Bray, they're so captivating! They're a little dark and really compelling, not everyone's cup of tea but i'm completely in love. The books are full of visual imagery that just appears by itself in my head in colours and emotion and I ITCH TO DRAW. :'D it's been a long time. Thank you Libba Bray.
I have to research Victorian era stuff though. If you know any websites with images of lace details or those amazing Victorian dresses or the brickwork of that era, feel free to drop the link or any information in the cbox :)
Help is much appreciated! :D littlethingsinaheart is gonna be bombed soon.
If I scan them that is D:
Draw first scan later! :'D
Hello after so long! Bye! Thank you!
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! :D hahaha

SPM no more!

2010-12-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

After 11 years of studying! My aim in life as a student all this while is now over!!
....
Now what do I do D: hahahaha

it's past midnight

2010-11-12T06:05:00.000-08:00

愛してる.
you know i love you! :)
happy one year.

sometimes

2010-10-07T03:32:00.000-07:00

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Tonight I Can Write - Pablo Neruda
xxx
Cinta yang tak kesampaian tu lah yang sakit.
xxx
Hello! :D I've been through hell lately what with exams and all but it's all coming to an end; I think I failed if this were God's test = =
Hey I'm still alive :DD
Nabilah got her ukelele! I'm so happy for her! XD
whee!
On a side note, Joss Stone is amazing. :D
xxx
I went outside to grab the dry clothes in before it rains, and I heard this baby making noise so I looked up. There was a skinny old Indian mother with her hair tied back in a bun, and she and her baby looked over at me. I smiled. The baby was so cute!
xxx
It's raining a lot lately. It makes me wistful. I think a lot now.

losing at everything

2010-10-07T03:30:00.000-07:00

Studies, life.
Gotta buck up.
I have to.

his eyebrows went so high

2010-09-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

I saw a friend of mine today, and this random thought shoved into my head.
"HEYYYYYYYYY that's him, I need to get a little something for him."
...... it was damn random.
So I got him two small little shizz of curry puffs and gave it to him.
His face was priceless.
The moral of the story is.......
Er, actually it isn't done.
I try to do this thing called Pay It Forward, it's a really amazing concept if you watched the movie or read of it. I have no idea who came up with it but amazing nonetheless.
It's where you do random kind deeds and the receiver is supposed to pay it forward by doing another three random deeds of kindness and the whole thing spreads like wildfire if everyone does it! First you have one, then three, then three other people have to do three deeds so nine, then nine multiplied by three is 27 and.. well it's huge!
:DDD
Everytime I have small change, I put some on the public phone in school so people who have no coins can make an emergency call. I know the feeling where you don't have coins and you go AHHHHHHHH like a hungry tiger.
Hungry frustrated tiger.
Hungry, angry and frustrated tiger.
Anyway.
So a few days ago I had to scour my purse for a coin that could actually be used (I had 5 cent coins and 1 yuan) and then I found it! One 10 cent coin. Which probably would be enough to say Hello and then they cut you off XD
Then I saw it :D 10 cents on the public phone! YAYYY
It came back!
Now I gotta do 3. I did one already I think? Or maybe that was just "Alex"'s signature out of the blue thing. = =
I can do it!
Chin up, back straight, shoulders back. Basic ballet posture.
*psyched face*\

Happy birthday pa :)

2010-09-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Pa! :D
I love everything you've done for me and I really do appreciate you
Even though you don't know how much I do
I love debating English with you
I love your random silly NZ/Australian metaphors which I've never heard of
I love the little things you do when you know we're sad
I don't particularly like the scoldings
Or that time where we were made to stand on our knees for an hour
But it shaped me to who I am today
So what the hey
I love patting your stomach and teasing your MUSCLES
MUSCLES
Because they're hard work
And you've worked so hard for us
Even ditching the habit of smoking
Long past the time my height exceeded your armpit
And I could tell you to stop
I promise to be more responsible and have more initiative
As the eldest
Okay?
Okay!
OKAY!
....
....
YEAH!
I'll do my best! (because you hate the expression "I'll try")
:D

just like a song in my heart

2010-09-07T03:50:00.000-07:00

Like A Star - Corinne Bailey Rae

Amazing song.

The song I think about instantly when I see my most favourite picture of all time: the Chii header you see now. LOVE.

Her innocence, absolutely comfortable and bared to the dark night.

Or maybe surrounded by darkness, but oblivious to her vulnerability.

Gad I love this picture and song.

xxx

I hope you like the things I did to the blog. Black is good! It saves heat emission. Or something.

XD hahahahaha

Like Google in black, Blackle. http://www.blackle.com/

OR Mystery Google which I find amazingly funny. I don't think it's working anymore though.

xxx
I'm going out this Saturday :D really excited.
Selamat Hari Raya everyone! :D
It's also my dad's birthday tomorrow!
After that one day of, of just letting everything out.. I feel happy. And bubbly, full of happyness :D it's an incredible feeling.
You know what word I think I use too much? "Amazing".
But that's how I see the world :D
HOHOHO.
Thank you for listening to me :)

Sunday morning rain is falling

2010-09-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
One of my favourite songs of all time.
xxx
This is why I love my Sundays.

1. I wake up in the early morning to go out with my sister and mom to the park to walk around and exercise a little. We're talking about 7 a.m. where dawn is just starting to get its fingers into the dark sky. We go to the Menjalara Park and walk around, the air is so cool and fresh! I have yet to learn how to dress properly to exercise though.

2. We then go to the morning market or 'pasar pagi' around that area and look around at all the lovely clothes; they're not of high quality and the prints are often weird, but if you look hard enough there are some amazing gems in there. Especially those jean shorts, God those are amazing. Then we browse through accessories and sometimes organic foodstuff. xD

3. We go for breakfast around 9, picking random shops and trying their wares. Hit and miss basis... mostly hits. Food is good. xD like dim sum, or curry pan min noodles. GOSH.

4. Creative Writing class at Pusat Tuisyen Indah. I went when I was in Form 3, and I loved writing in Ms DJ's class. I loved her comments, her way of thinking, her rare constructive criticism, the way she encouraged all of us to read. She even lent me her books! I loved them all. She printed my essay once as a worksheet for the class. I was really, really touched. Now she's very busy with her own business of encouraging young minds to read, write and think creatively so she gets Johnson to substitute for her. He's also a bird of the same elite, great flock. Surprisingly, he can tell stories like whoa, speak amazingly well and get his points across, I really admire that. (he also is at the front line for this project called E.P.I.C. which strives to get more young people to be involved in voting or at least have an opinion on the politics scenario of our country. It's really amazing! Check them out on Facebook :D) He also has these ideas he implements in class, which is really fun and always has a purpose.
Ohhhh. XD This has to be the highlight of the week.

4. The half hour break between Creative Writing and Karangan class. It's just f*cking amazing to talk to Johnson and Wei Jin about anything that comes to mind. Usually (before I started going for the class again) Wei Jin would sit outside and wait out the half hour and I suppose he would too, reading essays or something of the sort: waiting for his next class of PMR students. The first time I went for class, I immediately asked him if we could sit and talk to him for half and hour. Now it's like a kebiasaan :D hahahahha. It's so fun to talk to him! He makes us laugh so much and he can speak really well. To be able to talk like that to someone who thinks on that mature level, to be able to debate about random things. It's just... amazing. I'M SORRY I'M WAXING LYRICAL. XD

5. Comments on my essays. Finally, I can ask someone who can tell me what they like or dislike about my essay. English teachers are the bomb.

6. The time after 12 but before Karangan actually starts. I talk to Wei Jin and she'd tell me so much! She cracks jokes like nobody's business, I didn't expect it. She's so funny xD and great company. It's like girl bonding session. XD Hahahahaha. What we discussed was for us only, no boys allowed. XDDDDD hahahahhahaha

7. Karangan class! I have random conversations with Choo Wei and smile weirdly at Wei Jin to make her laugh. Mr Mark is the funniest person I know, he's so funny! And he's an amazing BM and Sejarah teacher; he relates things by telling stories and cracking tons of jokes, but he knows when it's time to get serious. One of my favourite teachers. :') he was the first to take me under his wing when I first tried out the tuition centre; teasing my rather cacat Mandarin skills yet making it lighthearted and explaining things thoroughly to me if I didn't understand. I tried out when I was Form 3, and I think I was in a Form 2 BM class. I was older than the people there, but they made me feel a little small when they booed a little at me. Mr Mark had just introduced me, and mentioned with a teasing quality that I can't really understand Mandarin and spoke mostly English. Strength in numbers? Maybe. But I can handle it ;D Look at me now! Making friends left right and center. Hahahaha

8. Going home, eating lunch and getting ready for group study. It's like a break for my mind. Teasing my sisters, talking to my dad and eating lunch that differs everytime. My dad packs food for me :)

9. It's now 3; time for group study with Huan Hee! :D Suddenly it's just me and her and us talking unpretentiously about our lives and our problems. It's weird that we can be so close and not know each other for years and years. It's just so easy to talk to her, and laugh with her. Hahaha :D We do get some studying done in that particular branch of Old Town Kopitiam after eating and drinking what we ordered. I love the way we have a set seat now, the end seat on the left of the smoking section that's so comfy. Although people smoke everytime we sit there, we just tahan as it's only one stick. After one stick we start making noises. We'd be like, "I HATE SMOKERS RIGHT HUAN HEE" "I KNOW, WHO'S THAT ***** SMOKING AH" loudly. They don't seem to get the message though, it's so funny. XD We split our sides laughing at the little things. Then there's the staff who we'd already begun to nickname affectionately. There's Shower Cap Dude, Cute Guy, No Front Teeth, so on. Cute Guy always takes showers with Shower Cap Dude. Hahahaha. XD

10. Going home at 7 and eating dinner. I know I have to iron the clothes for the next week but I always leave it for Monday morning exercise now.
And I K.O.
The end :D hahahahha
xxx
Last Sunday it was that sort of cold where it nips you on the nose and leave your fingers cold. There was a slight drizzle in the morning, and I went up to Creative Writing class. I knocked, I entered and it was pitch dark with Johnson's face lit by the glare of his laptop screen. He was reading a story. I was taken aback, scared even for a while when I saw this. XD Hahahaha.
I remember just closing my eyes and enjoying the little nuances, the rise and fall of his voice as he read the story of a brother and sister who finds out that their father had not "died" but was a vampire. It was dramatic, not a very good story but the way he read it combined with the self-inflicted darkness of the behind of my eyelids, oh it was so good. It was evenly paced, spaced so well for drama to seep in, the emotions of the characters subtly projected by the deep, smooth quality of his voice. I remember not looking at him, instead looking out at the little cracks of the window covers where the sunlight spilled in.
The morning sunlight is amazing. It has a watered down, pure quality that gently kisses the skin. I love opening my eyes in the morning and looking out my window, soaking in the light of the 'wet' sun.
The slanted light of dawn heh :D hahahaha. (sorry, making private jokes with.. myself. = =)
The spell he cast over the room was so compelling, we were just drawn to his voice waiting to hear the rest of the story.
I'm looking forward to next Sunday, no matter if it's Johnson or Ms DJ :D
Damn straight. :)

it's getting lonelier.

2010-09-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

Number 1 : loneliness.
It was weird, having something hit me in the face like that today.
I miss having someone to talk to about anything.
I miss her.
I miss Wye Zhi.
I miss the way things used to be.
Funny, everything's just drifting apart.
(I wouldn't change Leanne for the world though :) thanks you DARLING THING. Hahahaha)
Today I sat for my theory exam. No one knows.
I figured the world doesn't need to know.
Yet now you do. I just... I just keep contradicting myself, what the heck.
I want someone to know, I want to tell someone everything stupid in my world and then get serious about stuff, I want so much and then I hold back. Story of the stupid masochist.
(tehehhhh masochistic lion. xD ANYWAY.)
It was weird seeing people in the foreign and strangely quiet whitewashed classroom in SMK Bandar Utama Damansara 3. They were so much younger than me, I felt like I was the oldest in the class! It was like time passed me by. I wouldn't have it any other way.
After that I had Literature class with Pn Yong in school. Hema wasn't there, and suddenly I felt lost. I've been feeling like this a lot lately. I'm never fully there anymore, lost in my own thoughts. Except Sundays. I love Sundays. I still have lingering feelings for Monday.
I just.. drift away and think.
(I'm sorry.)
After that, I had a break of 3 hours before I had a 3-hour tuition for Physics and Chemistry. In the tuition centre I never felt like I belonged anyway but today it was worse. Normally I'd be comforted that all these people knew me but never dared to venture further despite my small smiles. I'd feel comforted in the aloneness.
It was horrible to sit there today, separated from everyone else by this language barrier or way of thinking. I'm like a different species. A great, figging banana who dares to debate whenever she feels she could be right, only in language classes.
Huan Hee made it all go away, and made me laugh. Thank you. :)
I still feel lonely, but I know that people do care.
They're just not here at the moment.
xxx
Number 2: jealousy.
IT WAS SO WEIRD.
I was dreaming the other night, and I saw.... this dude (close to me, almost like a brother?) with his arm around this beautiful smiling girl with long black hair. They were talking so easily and laughing all the time, the perfect picture of happiness that can be found in easy conversation and a great understanding for the other. I was talking to them, having a regular conversation. He introduced her to me.
And suddenly my smiles all felt forced, I looked around at the other people around us (that I can't remember for nuts) and smiled distractedly, sipping my drink. I remember I had a drink.
There was this heat, that burned from where my heart was. It burned till it warmed my hands. I can remember this amazing, intense emotion and I was like WOW.
Then I woke up, the jealousy still fresh.
I put my hand over my chest; I was breathing shallowly for some reason.
Crap, that was amazing! It wasn't even real.

200

2010-09-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

What a nice round number!
Thank you for reading up till now :D I know I get a little (who am I kidding) long-winded so I want to thank you for sticking with me hahaha.
UMM... oh yes.
Happy holidays and Selamat Hari Raya! :D maaf zahir dan batin. Lovely time for apologies. xD

Key to my heart

2010-08-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

xxx
So damn inspirational.
And the animation is so good paired with a great song!

All along, love was in your own heart. :)

xxx
I wonder why everyone seems to love other people, but not themselves.
xxx
LOVE! - Hebe, from S.H.E.

Back and forth

2010-08-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

Why do we find such comfort in repetition?
I like rocking slightly, back and forth. It calms me.
Babies fall asleep in seconds if you pat them to sleep.

Autistic people do things over and over; something familiar, something instinctive.
People in pain feel better once someone rubs them up and down their backs.

Why?

Maybe we feel comforted in the know of something, a routine. Like oh, we know the ropes and there's nothing to be scared of.

Maybe?

I don't know.

It's nice ainnit :D

TEHEH, random moment.

Love this song.

2010-08-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

As if I feel your eyes on me
The scent you have left
There just are the feelings of those things

Even though I close my eyes, I can see everything
Your everyday...
I wonder if it is beautiful without me.

Let us no longer talk about the sad stories
That made me cry and left you deserted
Together, left alone in this once beautiful world
My days and your nights
We both look at the same end
Baby lover, let's close our eyes together.

Give it up, give it up (can you see the light?)
Give it up, give it up (there ain't no one here.)
Give it up, give it up (It's our only way.)
Can you see the light in me?
Give it up, give it up (Don't be scared my love)
Give it up, give it up (There'll be song for you/I'll sing a song for you)
Give it up, give it up (And let the flowers rejoice.)
Can you see the light in me?

My heart, inside has been wandering
Finally it has found its path
If we were together every other morning
Hugging the entire sky
We would have shown everyone this happiness

Let us no longer talk about the sad stories
That made me cry and left you deserted
Together, left alone in this once beautiful world
My days and your nights
We both look at the same end
Baby lover, let us fall asleep together.

Give it up, give it up (can you see the light?)
Give it up, give it up (there ain't no one here.)
Give it up, give it up (It's our only way.)
Can you see the light in me?
Give it up, give it up (Don't be scared my love)
Give it up, give it up (There'll be song for you/I'll sing a song for you)
Give it up, give it up (And let the flowers rejoice.)
Can you see the light in me?

Just holding my hand, deeply fall asleep.
Comfortably, your body; just lean against me
The painful love: no longer
I want to wrap you in my presence and fall asleep, oh
I just know the things you want for I want to give you everything, oh
The things left from this night
Only believe in the love
The darkness and sadness covers us every time.
All you have to do is want it
All you have to do is, well
All it has to be is me who loves you.
The scent of your breath as it touches me
I quietly hold your hand and I want to close my eyes
Feel it: together you and I, become the wind

Everything is liberated when it's love.

Let us no longer talk about the sad stories
That made me cry and left you deserted
Together, left alone in this once beautiful world
My days and your nights
We both look at the same end
Baby lover, let's close our eyes together.

Let us no longer talk about the sad stories
That made me cry and left you deserted
Together, left alone in this once beautiful world
My days and your nights
We both look at the same end
Baby lover, let us fall asleep, together.

Give it up, give it up (can you see the light?)
Give it up, give it up (there ain't no one here.)
Give it up, give it up (It's our only way.)
Can you see the light in me?
Give it up, give it up (Don't be scared my love)
Give it up, give it up (There'll be song for you/I'll sing a song for you)
Give it up, give it up (And let the flowers rejoice.)
Can you see the light in me?

CLAZZIQUAI. ♥
xxx
Romeo N Juliet - Clazziquai
I love how they're just two guys and a girl: Horan, Alex and DJ Clazzi. The DJ mixes it all and creates such beautiful music :D
And the harmony of Horan and Alex are just heavenly.
If only I could find a guy like this, I'd thank my stars, kiss my toys and never look back.
XD
I don't understand what I just said.
XD

Across the autumn sky

2010-08-16T05:59:00.000-07:00

A rendezvous in the night surpasses all joy on earth.
xxx
Today is Qi Xi Jie, the 7th day of the 7th month in the lunar calendar.
There are two or more versions of the story behind Qi Xi Jie, which means Seventh Evening Festival if literally translated. :) I like this version. :
Zhi Nu is the 7th princess of heaven, a weaver of clouds and daughter of Jade Emperor and Wangmu, the queen of heaven. Niulang is a normal cow herder on earth.
Both met and both fell in love.
I have no idea if it's related to the puteri kayangan and the earthly mortal who, bewitched by beauty, stole her magical, celestial clothes and made her flightless.
The only thing important here is love.
Can you feeeeel the loooooove tonight :'D
This was greeted with disapproval from Wangmu, so with a flick of her hairpin she separated them with a river in the sky, now known as the Milky Way.
Wangmu eventually felt bad for them and decided that they could meet on only one day, the 7th day of the 7th month each year: she would send magpies to form a bridge over the river so the two lovers can meet for the night.
Oh, love. :DDDD
xxx
credit: http://chineseculture.about.com/od/chinesefestivals/a/QiXiJie.htm

You saw me through

2010-08-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Happy 17th birthday Hema Gunasagaran :'D
I love you.
From Standard 2 in Moral, we've hit it off like nobody's business and are probably the only people that still write old fashioned letters with pen to each other.
Hahahahahhaha
We had our first fight in Std 6
Failed attempt at outraged heroism in the same year
Grew up together
Shared all crush stories, what a CONFUSING time
Faced a death together.
And grew stronger together.
:)
I hope you have the greatest day today.

OHHH

2010-08-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

Wei Xuan looked beautiful in her dress :D
Hahahahaha! It was the only reason I went, but surprisingly SMK Seri Hartamas' International Understanding Day was amazing! Not in an OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGG way, but it's like a sleeper hit.
Tons of amazing acoustic acts, great bands and dance routines that take you by surprise. Dang, I didn't know that all of them can dance like that!
Akouein did a mash-up (medley? meh) and it was so goooooooood :D
Hahahaha. My favourite bands were Wanted Symphony and Revellers, because they do their thang well :D Wanted Symphony was just crazy! They have so much energy, it's amazing. And all of them are cute :D ahahhaha.
Andrew (the lead guitarist) just "became one" and menjiwai his guitar; it's so cool onstage, he didn't really look at the audience much and was really into the sounds he made.
Daniel (the keyboardist/lead vocal) was amazing! He could play the keyboard, sing his heart out AND jump like crazy away from the keyboard then go back to it with a bang. I know it's kinda silly to be swept up by gimmicks but this is one I'd fall for, over and over again. I thought his voice'd be slightly deeper, but his voice can hit those tricky notes and I just lost my point XD if he'd had a deeper voice it'd be weird :D ahahaha.
The bassist, Aaron (?!): I dunno if it's just me or the light but I think that person onstage has gotten cuter since the last time I saw him? Maybe it wasn't Aaron? I DUNNO XD but he was so cute OMG doing the harmonies and bass! I'd fall for anyone who can harmonize.
The drummer was just WICKED. :D I think his name is David. He's so cute :DDDDDDDDD he couldn't really be seen, so I had the impression that he was small-sized but he started playing and suddenly, everyone was just jumping and going crazy to the addictive beat. Amazing.

The Revellers were also quite good. I thought they were a really rock Malay rock kind of band, but they surprised me and started playing these ballads with a bit of jazz incorporated in their songs with meaning in their lyrics. They're.. quite good! :D

Smackers XOXO and Midnight Mystery were VERY good. The Smackers crew busted their hiphop moves like there was no tomorrow. And Midnight Mystery did a very languid, sensual number; it was great! Reena you take mai breath away :'D
Hahahaha.
All in all I had a fun time.
And I saw DODOL! :D He looked different, wore a different pair of glasses, a deceptively simple white shirt with black pants and a necklace, the sort with a black band and a metal plate as a pendant. :D you looked good! (if you're reading XD)
I spent a lot of time beside Wei Xuan and with Sabina and Maisarah :D AND I SAW LIEW
OMG
SO CUTE EDI
HOW
Hahahahahhaha
Maisarah and Sabina are so fun to be with :D

Sister bonding is epic

2010-08-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahahahha
I don't believe my ears and eyes.
Both Mandy and Chloe (aged 15 and 11) are doing karaoke to Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, etc; singing their hearts out with the volume on LOUD in front of the computer with lyric videos playing. XD And Pa is watching a movie.
I love my family :'D
No matter how much pain we go through, there's always love.

No way NO WAY

2010-07-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna see Wei Xuan in a dress :'D I'm so excited!
xxx
Today is the day International Understanding Day AND MTV World Stage happens, so it should be an exciting day for most :)
I think the Interact board (as much as I'm "against" them, because English Club members always enter the club, then ditch it for the Interact Club when they're old enough hahaha) did their best this year.
Everywhere I look I see people practising for The Day and it has come. So put your best foot forward, good luck and
BRING YOUR HORSES TO THE FORE 8D
(It's a Chinese expression: Bring it on.)
Hahahahaha :D
I'll post about the whole event later. See you then!

I want you but I never said it.

2010-07-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Lazy Sunday Morning - Clazziquai
What a perfect song for me and me blog :'D
xxx
I wore my heels out today for the first time. I felt incredibly tall :D
I saw Nabilah! She's so pretty. And well-dressed!
And I trimmed my fringe a bit, it's sort of short but I love it! I've always wanted a really short fringe anyway, so this is... going halfway XD
xxx
HAIRSTYLES I'D LIKE TO TRY (not in order)
1. Short pixie boyish cut. With the really short short fringe.
2. Alice Cullen
3. Long big curls with bangs
4. BANGS with shoulder length hair that curls inwards a bit
5. BANGS :D
6. I don't think I'd look good in bangs :( BUT BANGS! :D
7. Straight hair. HAHAHAHA
8. Some urban modern look paired with black squarish glasses
9. Side fringe with poofy curly chin length hair :D refer to the girl in Sweety - Clazziquai.
The song SWEETY IS LOVE :)
10. Free flow red red red hair
etc etc dan sebagainya
xxx
I'm tired of crushing like hell on someone for a bloody long time, hoping for them to see me only to have them go crazy for another lovelier, prettier, smarter, funnier etc. girl. I know, apparently there are only a mere handful in the world that are like that but it's not once, twice but THREE TIMES
WHY
So many girls like that is it?! XD
I'll just save my weirdly expressed feelings for later. I'm ready to be a PLAYER.
*snort*
This outburst isn't wholly random. I stumbled upon an old-ish bookmark I made, with a simple ugly picture and the words, "You make me feel like I'm on top of the world." And then a strawberry Metoo I bought in China. And then remembered an old frog I made. And a card?
And yeah.
I count them all as experience. I even base some of my fictional characters on them, gathering the little things and quirks that make me fall so hard and putting them all into my stories.
I have pictures and the written word on my side, and I shall keep on hoping for every one of you to go get some of that magic they call love :D find it, let it break you, make you cry and laugh, then come back and tell me ;D
And I promise likewise(?).

Silly TV talking by itself in the living room.

2010-07-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

Lazy Sunday Morning - Clazziquai
I love Clazziquai :D
xxx
TV's on in the lounge area.
My sister sleeps faster if the TV is on. Especially if Family Guy is going to play at night. She'd sleep just before it plays XD XD hahahahahhaha
It's so nice to sleep with the TV on, listening to its soft mumble as you slowly close your eyes, never really comprehending what's making all those people laugh in the background.
Kukukukukukukukuku
xxx
http://idontwannaever-loveanother.blogspot.com/
She may not have the best spelling in the world but it shows how she talks and expresses how she feels. And that's called great writing with feeling.
YES I'M PRAISING YOU DISALLOWED
KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU
I love you Mandy :D

Per aspera ad astra

2010-07-20T04:30:00.000-07:00

Through the night to the light.
xxx
Ai seh. :D Hello everybody!
I've been really weird. Not good, not bad. Just really.. weird.
I think it's a good thing :)
xxx
Everybody!
There's an event happening this Friday in Bangsar called the Bangsar CF Amazing Race!

Where: Bangsar Gospel Centre, opposite Starbucks near Bangsar Village
When: 2.00 to 4.30 maximum
What: A fun activity where everyone's invited! :D It's like a short bite-sized version of Amazing Race on AXN hee hee. XD Find a friend and pair up, as groups will be assigned by pairs on the spot. It's gonna be so much FUN 8D
Transport: Working on it, but right now we have transport from and back to school. Limited seats XD ahahahahahaha I'm kidding.
Ask me about it. ;D

Make time for this event as it's gonna be amazing.
TEEHEE bad pun

I like you (no, I love.)

2010-07-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

Wo Xi Huan (Bu, Wo Ai) - Yan Jue
xxx
我喜欢你的眼
wo xi huan ni de yan
I like your eyes

看着我的眼
kan zhe wo de yan
looking into mine.

我喜欢你的脸
wo xi huan ni de lian
I like your face

贴著我的脸
tie zhe wo de lian
close to mine.

我喜欢你的手
wo xi huan ni de shou
I like your hand

牵著我的手
qian zhe wo de shou
that takes my hand.

我喜欢你的口
wo xi huan ni de kou
I like your lips

吻著我的口
wen a wo de kou
lightly kissing mine.

*时间在改变
shi jian zai gai bian
The times are changing..

你不要改变
ni bu yao gai bian
You; please don't change

CHORUS
因为我很爱你
ing wei wo hen ai ni
Because I love you very much

不想要你放弃爱情
bu xiang yao ni fang qi ai qing
I don't want you to give up on love.

尤其这段得来不易
you qi zhe duan de lai bu yi
Especially now, when it's not easy.

我爱你真的是很爱你
wo ai ni zhen de shi hen ai ni
I love you, I really do.

所以想就这样继续爱下去
suo yi xiang jiu zhe yang ji xu ai xia qu
So I want our love to go on this way.
xxx
credits: Top10 Pinyin Lyrics. I translated! I TRANSLATED! :'D
xxx
What a cute upbeat song :D I was mis-led! I thought from his pictures he'd be a serious and ballad person, with a deep voice as smooth as honey.
Instead he surprised me with his refreshing clear voice and an amazing skill to say things really quickly XD
And then he inserts a little jazz into his songs that I simply love. He's so happy!
Happy, upbeat, I can just imagine him smiling as he sings his songs instead of the seriousface hottay on the Chinese newspaper. I'm still going through the album and he seems like a kind of sensitive and playful person through the songs, melodies and them funky high notes with the mellow chords.
I'd love to know him.
HEEEEEE. :D
xxx
After 20 minutes: Oh, they're quite a few lovely songs in his album!
I love it, so much.
Thank you Wei Xuan :'D

You've begun to pursue a lonely freedom.

2010-07-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Red Bean/Hong Dou - Khalil Fong/Faye Wong
xxx
What a beautiful song with so many hidden gems of lines in it.
xxx
A funny and cute girl called me cute in tuition today. I'm not cute.
I don't know why she or Alaina or some other people call me cute XD I'm long, lanky, dark, incapable of speaking well. I spout random things that make no sense. I'm more quirky than cute, whuuuuut!
Look at Brice, or dodol. They're much cuter :DDDDD
xxx
Today I'm going to tell you a story.
It's about Nobody and Somebody.
Nobody once used to be in a group of friends who over the years, drifted apart. You know. These things happen right. Break time in school was a people-watching affair. He watched as people go by in pairs, in groups, laughing as they walked leisurely to the cafeteria. And he'd smile. He doesn't envy them at all.
Somebody considers Nobody his best friend, but due to circumstance somehow he's got two circles of best friends. Where one is present, the other is naturally left alone. Mutually exclusive, where both cannot happen at the same given time. The bigger circle is better to be with, what with all the constant crazy laughter and joy. Nobody remembers the time where he used to do that. Now, cliques have formed their rigid barriers and people are unwilling to change. They might accept Nobody for a little while, but Nobody similarly does not want to intrude or frankly, be close to them. If Nobody can't have the one he wants, he'd live without the best. They can't replace number one in Nobody's heart.
Nobody soon became like a nursery's wallpaper; rainbows, sunshine and pastel colours the whole day through yet nobody really pays attention to it.
Nobody doesn't mind. It's okay.
Somebody doesn't want Nobody to pull away but things happen.
So. It's okay you know. :D things will work out.
The end(?).

I haven't yet experienced the warmth of a waking kiss.

2010-07-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

Red Bean/Hong Dou - Khalil Fong/Faye Wong
xxx
What would it be like, a kiss?
What a curious thing.
For two people who feel that fickle feeling, love. For them to feel the same about each other and share a kiss without feeling self-conscious at that moment, leaning in to feel the other person's lips on yours.
I wonder.
Maybe it's different for everyone.
I guess the kiss depends on the depth of feeling.
Yes?

Sorry

2010-07-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

I ditched you again, Leanne.
I may not come this Friday too? I think. Going to Penang.
Today I've got a fever and stomach problem... XD and I don't want to go to the doctor. Why go when I can obtain active natural immunity on my own? xD
-nerdmomenthahahahaha-
xxx
Is it weird that I want to be a doctor/musician someday? When I hate going to the doctor's place unless I'm really REALLY sick? XD
xxx
I feel like vomiting today.
I don't know why.
I'm going to school later though, to pass up PEKA and do scouts registration. :D
Maybe it's my body lashing out against me because of all the stress I put myself under. So all emotional, I threw my hands in the air and said FUGGIT, I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL.
I asked my dad if I could have breakfast with him, and he (who's sick and incapacitated) showed gentleness and said yes. He said he understands the stress factor and sometimes all you want to do is just brush it all off, lock it up in Pandora's box and sleep. Later can open the bloody box again but you'd be refreshed and there's always hope, no?
Thank you Pa. You may be really stubborn and hard-headed and fuss about the small stuff all the time but I know it's because of circumstance.
So we went to Restoran Kak~ :D I LOVE RESTORAN KAK
You all should go visit. HAHAHA. It's near the Sri Cempaka school in Damansara, near all the Jalan Setia-xxx (ie. Setiabudi, Setiabistari, etc). It's the only shop I know that sells these amazing kuih-muih in the early morning.
I've been going since I was 9! XD I really like the way they make the egg sponge cake, the butter pau, a fried kuih with glutinous rice in the middle and yau zha kuih. They have paus too, they're really really cute and bite-sized but delicious.
An uncle and his wife runs the place and it hasn't changed one bit since I was 9. Maybe the workers changed lah but other than that, same patrons, same tables and chairs, same coloured plastic sheet roof and same delicious teh tarik.
Hahahahhaa :D eeee, shameless unpaid advertising.
What're you waiting for??? :D
Now I'm refreshed! Back to school; see you soon!

I'll never ask for more than your love.

2010-07-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You - Khalil Fong
What started this feeling is pretty simple.
xxx

xxx
Oh my goshhh :D
He's so cute in this video, especially that longing look he gives the girl in the classroom while he was writing the love letter.
The way he held her in his arms when they danced, so natural, intimate yet respectful of personal space. The girl just lights up with a smile from the heart... so pretty.
<3>
And then I watched the Red Bean cover of his and the lyrics hit home. I know the original is by Faye Wong but his version is so simple, so beautiful. Why is he always singing about a love so painful yet worth it? Or a love just out of his grasp?
The small little melancholy smile he did at the end of the video took my breath away.
You've never seen something truly beautiful and heartbreaking until you see someone you love smile like that.

I wonder if your day is still beautiful without me

2010-07-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

Romeo N Juliet - Clazziquai Project
xxx
I feel like I'm doing the same things over and over.
Bathe. Eat. Tuition. Bathe. Eat.
Oh wait, didn't I bathe like this yesterday?
Didn't I eat a big dinner yesterday?
Why do I feel hungry then.
Oh we're gonna eat dinner again today.
............................ ngeh.
Having breakfast is my way of breaking the cycle. XD
xxx
I wish I had the means to make every day different.
xxx
I was visited by a moth yesterday.
Malays, Indians, Chinese and maybe other races have this belief that moths are a symbol for souls coming back to visit the people they love. Have you watched Bleach? Them lost souls turn into awesome black butterflies after they've been purified.
The moth that visited me was a medium-sized moth with a cute plump, furry body that perched on the wall above my bed. After I bathed and dressed in my pyjamas, I saw it and was surprised.
In a good way.
I mean, a soul came to visit me specially :3
I took a towel and approached it, saying hi and what are you doing here? The moth had many shades of brown on its wings, creating patterns of dots and stripes while at its head there were these pair of soft black eyes just staring at me. Surprisingly it wasn't creepy at all, just a rather curious gaze.
It then flew a bit and landed gracefully on my towel. It may not be as beautiful as the colourful butterflies, but moths have a certain mystery to them. Look closely and you can see these many patterns on them and most moths I've encountered are HUGE, with sweeping wings and the occasional eye-patterns painted on them.
My moth had a little bit taken out of its left wing though... so it couldn't fly properly. I chased it a bit as it flew, giddy like it was high. Finally, I took it out to the balcony. It magically started to fly down to the big streetlamp facing my balcony, and I smiled.
It was weird, and it moved me.
What if..?

WTF DEVI'S

2010-07-07T06:12:00.002-07:00

WHY!
My dream since Form 3 was to fill up 3 tables with us Christian Fellowship members under the shade of those leafy romantic trees of Devi's Corner just like in Szetho's time but HOW THE CRAP CAN WE DO THAT IF YOU CLOSE DOWN
And become a bank?
:(
xxx
At least we did use three tables once, two weeks ago. :) I guess that's enough.
Still! Why my yearrrrrrrrr
AJFSDFSCNOWEYCGVFSMGJFWEIKPOSFKL
:'(
xxx
Aih.
I should explain myself. XD I'm the president of Christian Fellowship, the figurative mom of all my members :3 hahahahahahha. I love being able to get close to all of them in God's presence and have fun with them each Friday of the week, sometimes with a break in between. I like playing the guitar and leading worship, I like being able to sing in front of them and they have some measure of fun. I like prayer groups where we just talk about anything, I like sharing word because we all get something like a post-it note in our minds throughout the week.
However, throughout the years our numbers have dwindled.
In addition to that, the new headmistress didn't let us have a meeting of Christians or non-Muslims in general during their annual big prayer in the beginning of the year. It was horrible! I couldn't see why we couldn't pray as well while spreading the word that there was a Christian Fellowship organization in our school. No one knows about it, NO ONE.
Okay maybe a few. But NOT ENOUGH :)
It's the first time we didn't have this meeting ever since I stepped into the school. And I can assure you it's been done before I was in SMKSH as well.
I told her it was a tradition, but she wanted the right platform to hold this event.
Platform.
What the hey.
But I've gotten past that, asking everyone to spread the word by mouth and I try to be as persuasive as possible to get people in ;D I prayed once for it. Then Mandy got June in, then got Jayne, Celeste, Alex, Janine and Gary in. AND I WAS LIKE 8D
Hahahahahhahaha!
After that, our long time venue, Canaan Church wasn't available to us anymore; Pastor Daniel is expanding the church and slotting a new ministry in the time slot we have our CF, so it's kind of... awkward. So he told us, and I was absolutely devastated. I couldn't think straight for a week. I guess it's my fault, because I've started CF late this year (April). I take the blame lah, but I felt so bad for the members because I didn't know what to do. So I prayed for this too!
And you know what? Cheng Jin (gotta love him :D) saved all our asses by suggesting we go to the park! :D If we're gung ho enough that is. So I got everyone to the park, and they were willing to come :'D I'm so proud of them. We had 2 sessions in the park and scouting sessions with Cheng Jin and Jeffrey, where we went around looking for possible locations where CF could be held. It was a little off-putting since we went on a Friday afternoon when no one was in ANY church, so we just got their numbers and headed our separate ways. Joyce got the number of a pastor of a nearby River of Life Sanctuary church and I sms-ed the pastor after some time, because I took time to mull things over and school was getting busy.
And you know what? One of the youth leaders (which later became known and loved as Soon Seng and Anne) replied my sms and emailed me! And then we got to know each other and used their own youth place called Stamped, where they have air con, drums, a keyboard, a whole lot of space, a toilet, projector and more than we could've asked for. I was so bloody happyyyyy :3
So we got past that too.
But now, now DEVI'S IS CLOSING DAMMIT
I can't move on :'( they didn't even give us any bloody notice! D: I feel so cheated. Hahahahaha. XD
I'll miss so much, like the payasam, the uncles, the kakak-s. I hope they move some place else and not disappear altogether :'(
Aih.

都為了愛,愛,愛.

2010-06-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

Khalil Fong - Ai Ai Ai

All for love, love, love.

xxx

I'm in love with Khalil Fong :'D
I want you in my life. I want to know the stories of your childhood and who made you write those songs where you couldn't be with the one you love. I want to know why you like jazz and R and B, I want to learn guitar from you. I want to learn Mandarin from you in your voice so smooth and honest. I want to steal your glasses and make you see me as a blur picture and not in detail, where we can love each other's lovely side and leave the slightly bad apple quirks for later. Oh Khalil Fong :D
Hahahahahhaha.
Your songs have everything I love AND your mellow voice that has a few hidden personalities. They serenade me to sweet dreams, they challenge my view on things, they make my belief in love that much stronger.They make me want to write as well as you do, with all sincerity and frank feelings.
Oh,
You make me melt.
I'm in love! :D Ahahaahahaha.
xxx
Sometimes I come out and see myself as I am through other people's eyes. I usually don't really care and continue doing my own thing, but sometimes I get curious and ask people what they think of me. Normally all would come back positive but now all I see are negative things about myself..
I've gotta work hard and combat all this!
I've got to.
:) wish me luck. If I succeed, I'll thank you for reading and just being here to listen to what I have to say inside. :D

そう, おもいがあれば.

2010-06-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

Begin - DBSK
Even if we are apart, we still can share something if we have our memories.
xxx
I woke up at 8 today. The sun was streaming down in seemingly touchable golden rays, the birds were chirping and the air was so cool.
What a wonderful day :)
xxx
HI DODOL
This is for when you check around
hahahahahahha
xxx
Yesterday I had a heart-to-heart talk with Wye Zhi.

We talked about DBSK and how fast they changed from one hell of a band with amazing bonds to now, where they broke into halves and they don't talk to each other. They were such a big part of our lives, in Form 2 and 3; we talked about their antics, their looks, their quirks and everything. Wye Zhi wrote, Hema read, Chandni laughed along with me, Wei Xuan dominated the games, Leanne tried to beat her at it. (Sorry, I truly am but for me, these are the core LGGs.) It was so fun! And then we could actually have two or three whole periods going on and on about DBSK, a bit of Super Junior, playing games they played on variety shows like catch the mouse or dibi dibi dib and then after that, we moved on.
Yeah. Super Junior then hahahahaha. They were really cute, but the members' names kept flying past my head. Except Eunhyuk, Kangin, Siwon and Heechul. Oh yes HEECHUL. :D
We played "rollercoaster" which wasn't much of a game but it was super fun. We laughed about everything like mad people.
We talked all the time about Chandni's many love interests (who are all into her, the lucky girl), my uncanny ability to attract slightly weird people, Hema's silly boys who couldn't see her for the wonderful person she is, Wye Zhi's amazingly whimsical and hilarious fic which always came one chapter by one chapter and then she'd go and edit the death out of it. It was crap amazing. Wei Xuan bullied Hema with Chandni and Leanne... wasn't much of a talker then. I didn't really know her, now that I think back.
Now she's proud to shout whatever she thinks and sing Baby like a man who ate chalk. Hahahahaha, she's so funny.
She's an amazing person. Always scolding me like a mom, and taking care of me as well. But then.. now I feel like she's pulling away from me. I mean, I know lah they really like K pop and I try to like it as much as they do by getting into a little more Super Junior. I still feel left out when they're talking about them, like, WTH I'm here and yet you're there.
I feel.. hurt by the little things.
I know. So stupid. There's so many other things but
ANYWAY
YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS PART 8D
xxx
I still miss her. I wonder what it'd be like if she didn't get sick.
I wouldn't have made up with Wye Zhi, I think. I'm thankful for that, at least. :)
xxx
I really like playing the Nintendo DS. 8D
Games like Rhythm Heaven, Elite Beat Agents, Ninja Gaiden Dragon (where I'm the hotness, Ryu Hayabusa) and definitely The World Ends With You DRAG me without mercy to the screen for hours on end. XD I can't keep my hands off it!
Why Nintendo.
Why.
XD

Old, I am

2010-06-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

I went down to the minimarket today wearing my slippers
I said hi to a friend of ours who lives in the condo
I got lip gloss! :'D
I thanked her, touched
I reached the minimarket
I bought tape
I twirled
I walked home with a spring in my step
I took off my shoes
And I realized that I have them on the wrong way round.
The end.

The world had less colour without you.

2010-06-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Darling I Do - Landon Pigg and Lucy Schwartz
NGEE.
-Shrek Forever After
xxx
Do you know that I don't like it when a duet title has the word "featuring" in it?
I memang tak suka.
Hahahaha. It's like this is my song, and you're just a little part of it.
Whereas it's a combined effort that makes the song fly. Ainnit. :D
xxx
I LOVE I LOVE the song Darling I Do. It's so sweet and simple with such hearfelt lyrics and wonderful vocals~ Landon Pigg surprises me! Based on his name I thought he'd be a little weird, but he's so cute and has such a soothing wonderful voice.
Lucy Schwartz has a unique voice! I listened to When We Were Young before, and I liked her rich voice. But in Darling I Do, both their voices sound so perfect together.
NGEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I can't seem to load it though, the connection's so slow.
And not many videos have been posted on Youtube. Download the video juga tak boleh. :(
I shall survive. Hahahaha.
xxx
I'm in Penang! Chloe and I followed Pa up for a business trip, and now we are a bit restless in the room. So we watch Spongebob in Malay :D
It's so windy here, it's amazing. The air conditioning in Hotel Royal is so cold, but adjustable so it's the wonderful kind of little chill. Hahahahah.
I went down with my sister to eat the complimentary hotel breakfast this morning. They had the usual breakfast spread, which is every wonderful delicious thing we love. Mee goreng, nasi lemak, Western breakfast consisting of ham, sausages, French toast, baked beans and all that. And then the dessert corner, which has fruits and tarts, etc. and then the hot and cold drinks and THE BEST PART OF ALL
CEREAL!
Hahahahahaha.
I've had a craving for Koko Krunch for the LONGEST time.
As I approached the see-through plastic pitcher for Koko Krunch with wonder, there was this dude who passed by. This guy was buff, with nice defined arms and he wore a rusty orange polo which offset his frame quite nicely. He was a bit taller than me and popped his collar, so I didn't think much of him lingering round the cereal corner.
Initially.
As I poured the lovely brown curls into my shallow bowl, I was a bit surprised when he lined up behind me, looking at the pitcher in my hand.
My eyebrows shot up, my eyes went wide and I said "SORRY" and then realized something incredible: "OHH you want the Koko Krunch too?" I exclaimed. A little too excitedly. XD
Hahahahhahaha
"UHHH.. yeah.." he said, a little taken aback.
Hahahahahhahaha
See? Not all guys who pop their collars are arrogant pricks.
YAY.

You don't know my heart that loves you.

2010-06-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

Please Love Her - Ha Dong Kyun
xxx
Jamkkan gidaryeojullae jigeum derireo galge
wae jakku ulgiman hani
malhe malhe eodi-e inni
niga saranghaneun sarami neoreul dugo gan geoni
jibeuro deryeoda julge
kaja kaja barami cheoga-unikka
Neoreul ullineun geu sarami
mweoga geureoke joheuni
neoneun moreuji neoman moreuji neoreul saranghaneun nae mameul
georeumi neurin naega meonjeo gaji mothaeseo
nae jaril ppaetkkin apeun sarangeul
Neo-ui eunneun moseubi nuguboda yeppeunji
geu saram algina hani
jeongmal jeongmal algodo neoreul ulliniireum
moreuneun dangshinege butak hanaman haneunde
Saranghaejweoyo saranghaejweoyo
naega saranghaneun geunyeoreul
sangshini na daeshine gajin na-ui geunyeoreul
hamburo darul saenggakhamyeon
Andweyo saranghaejweoyo nae ma-eumdo mollajuneun geunyeoreul
geunyeoga saranghaneun saram dangshininikka
naboda manhi saranghaejweoyo
dashineun ullijineun marayo
xxx
Will you wait for a bit? I will come now to pick you up
Why do you only keep crying?
Tell me, tell me where you are.
Did the person you love just leave you and go?
I will take you home.
Let’s go, let’s go because the wind is cold.
What is so great about the person that makes you cry?
You don’t know, you don’t know my heart that loves you
I couldn’t get there first because I was slow
The pain of the love that took my spot
Your laughing face is more beautiful than anyone
Do you even know that person?
Does he really really know and still makes you cry
I ask you, whose name I don't know, for a single favour:
Please love her, please love the girl that I love,
You who have her instead of me.
You can't just think about something else recklessly
Please love her, you who do not even know my heart
Because the one she loves is you.
Please love her more than me,
Please don't make her cry.
xxx
The lyrics are so beautiful.
It's so... it's so sad.

Breath of life

2010-06-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG ASS POST :D
xxx
I woke up today stirring in and out of consciousness, hearing outside sounds that somehow merged into my vague dream. Then suddenly, my body decides to take this huge intake of air and then I felt all refreshed 8D And I sat up, unable to sleep anymore.
That's almost like a breath of life.
And it's essential to get it right when you are pretending to sleep hahahaha
xxx
I love Spring Waltz, a Korean drama. I really love it. Although it may be considered a bit old and a little out of the mainstream, the soundtrack is AWESOME (piano and ballads won me over) and the actors are fresh and I just found out that Eun Young's brother is actually Si Won. Which is kind of weird. When I first watched it I loved the silly brother. Now I can't look at this the same HAHAHA.
The actors are a damn fine-looking bunch. Hee hee.
Han Hyo Joo, the girl is just so bloody cute! :D There's so much between the girl and the guy, but because of surreal circumstances they can't be together :( but they did in the end. So. Happy ending for everybody!
Seo Do Young is the him of the story. He's a model, actor, singer and can play the piano, OMG. And he speaks German and Japanese 8D Love him.
The other girl of the story is Lee So Yeon. She's a very pretty lady. She has amazingly huge and expressive eyes that I love.
And of course, I can't leave out the best part,
Daniel Henney :DD EEEEEEE. His character is called Phillip, half-Korean. He speaks German and he works out in the drama, and he made this speech to Eun Young that I loved to pieces!
Something like, "if you can fit this shoe this time, maybe, just maybe, you can be my girl." Then she doesn't understand, of course so he kind of gives up a little, pulls back and says:
"Eunyoung. (frustrated) You don't understand my language... you don't understand my heart." with a little sad smile.
:(
:(
I UNDERSTAND
:(
Philliiiip :'( Phillip is the sweetest thing.

My guitar has been to Ampang.

2010-05-30T02:58:00.000-07:00

Happy belated Wesak Day!

It was a holiday, so I decided to go out with Chang Min for a "musical" outing. TEH HEH. I brought along my guitar for he asked me to go to a park near KLCC to play music and sing for fun, while studying English, Korean and Bio just in case. XD

I was really excited! It's my first time someone actually spent time with me to make music with them, so with my guitar safely packed in the padded case (which is a little weird because it doesn't have a strap.. like a handbag hahahahaha) and my Bio notes slit into the bag, I headed out with my dad to Kelana Jaya.

*The first person to ask me to play with them is Huan Hee :3 I'm still very touched.*

We stopped by this restaurant nearby, where we'd appointed to meet. I was looking around absently, wondering where he was then suddenly he knocked the window and waved. SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. XD

My dad sent us to the Kelana Jaya LRT station and from there, we took the LRT to KLCC. On the LRT it was really cold! I didn't know it was so strongly air-conditioned. So we talked and talked about stuff.

It's really easy to forget he's 20.

He let me listen to his current favourite song, an old Korean song by Yun Jae Ha. Then he let me listen to a recording of his voice singing that song... NGEE. It was really good, but the fact that he let me listen to it and said "don't laughing, please" touched me more.

He decided that we should have a breakfast of roti canai at the third floor of KLCC, so we walked at a slow pace, taking our time. He led the way, and we filled up the space between us with wholehearted smiles, confusing but fascinating conversations and awkward courtesy. We went up to the food court where we went to a shop named Hameed's Nasi Kandar to have their roti canai and honey chicken. It was a bit mahal tapi sangat sedap :D I asked him which sauce he likes with his roti canai, and he said... "curry" XD so he got fish curry and I got dhal. He told me that he checked Ampang Park out, and it wasn't too safe. Therefore, we had to change the whole plan, and there were just so many possibilities in KL, no? He then said he's looked up the Ampang area online, so rajin hahahaha. Apparently there's a little Korean town in Ampang somewhere, so we had a rough plan to go there. Don't know how, but we could always figure it out right :D

I told him my sauce was called dhal, like "foot" in Korean (pahl) but with a d. And then he told me, "dahl" in Korean means moon. HAHAHA. He liked the dhal more than the curry in the end.

Fish in Korean is cham-chi!

Cloud is kurum, star is byeol and moon is dahl.

After that, we headed to Juice Works because I've been craving one of their creations since I went out with Leanne to MidValley and bought a Pink Passion or something. It was wonderful. He picked out Berry Burst and insisted on paying, but my stubbornness got me to pay for half of everything we bought from then onwards. Hahaha.

Then we walked down the escalators, where we saw this girl/guy? wearing pink. When I asked him what he thought of homosexuality a while before, he said, and I quote, "Well everybody.. has their own love style." EEEE. :D "But I don't like boy!" HAHAHA.

So then he quipped to me, "Do you like strong girl?" while nudging in her direction. And I was like, NO. XD I like cute girls more, hahaha. To demonstrate, I did a horrible impersonation of a lala pose hahahaha! And he understood.

We also came across this whole group of tadika students probably out on a field trip. They were blocking an escalator because someone in front was hesitating at getting on the escalator.

Have you ever been scared like that when you were younger? Scared of getting on the escalator, the yellow lines chasing after each other so quickly that you were sure you couldn't put one foot between safely. I've been scared of escalators XD I told him that, and waited for them to go, smiling at their attempts. In the end, most of them had to use the lift.

Mind you, I was still lugging the guitar around hahaha!

We finally walked out of KLCC. He asked around about how to get to Little Koreantown but everyone was like, "Huh?" and couldn't really take the time to understand his words, but they had a vague idea and kept directing us to the other side of the road that had buses to take us to Ampang. Even when we asked a taxi driver, (where he offered us a ride there for RM20) he too directed us to the opposite side of the road; so we politely refused him and sat for a while, mulled it over then finally crossed the road hahahaha. Sorry taxi driver!

Whatever happens, the buses always come back to the same stations. So we took a bus from KLCC to Ampang Point, which was empty when we got on board. Then I dunno what happened, but I started talking to the bus lady, an Indonesian lady named Elly. She was very cordial and chatted us up, talking about the Korean currency, roti canai and Sumatera. And Ampang :D hahaha! She wore this thick dark blue polo shirt with a light long-sleeved shirt beneath it. She had a black pouch around her waist and wore nondescript black trousers. With her glasses perched a bit low, she had to raise her head a little when talking to me or Chang Min.
OHHH The cutest Korean couple ever got on the bus! The girl was very fair and petite, wearing a beige shirt that flattered her complexion, pink cheeks and fine dark brown hair. The boy was wearing a green striped polo shirt but thank goodness tak pop his collar like arrogant pricks. (No offence if you think you aren't an arrogant prick but pop your collar anyway.) He wore these big black full-frame glasses that looked so incredibly quirky and cute at the same time and they got on holding hands, EEEE :D They took a seat at the back of the bus.
An Iranian lady also came onboard, with an old Chinese lady with permed, snow white hair following behind. So with these few passengers, we started our way to Ampang Point. When we got there, I didn't know until Elly prompted me XD so we got off, along with the cute Korean couple. Chang Min was like, "Follow them, follow them hahaha". So we followed them, but we pretended to be stalkers and waited till they were a distance away. We followed them up the jejantas, when we saw this sleeping old man without half his left forearm lying down on a piece of cardboard with a plastic cup in front of him. I looked for my purse, fumbling around for a while, found some coins and put it in his cup while Chang Min put one ringgit in. HEE. :) We walked on and suddenly realized that we lost the Korean couple hahahahaha! What lousy stalkers we make.
We caught a glimpse of them as they turned in to a road behind, but we went our own way. So we wandered around, still talking about stuff hahaha. I wasn't too impressed if this miserable row with three Korean restaurants was called Koreantown. XD So we were walking the empty row, then we turned in, walked straight ahead and then saw on our left AND right, rows full of Korean shops, a mamak, libraries, everything! There was a bank, a church, a school nearby, apartments and even a supermarket! OMG, I literally went WUUUUUAAAAHH. Hahahahaha. I was amazed, this really was like a quaint little secluded neighbourhood.
I saw a few students walking past us, wearing pink, green and yellow. I can't really remember. One of them wore those black rimmed glasses and looked me in the eye, so I looked back and nodded politely. Anyway, I turned back and talked to Chang Min. After a while I asked him what they were talking about when they were a bit loud, then he laughingly said "Oh, hahahaha bad word." XD
We went back to Ampang Point, went up to the karaoke because he told me he missed Korean karaoke and asked for a big room for 1 hour which really isn't that big. The audio was horribly loud and deafening but we enjoyed ourselves like mad! You know when the volume is really loud, you cast aside your inhibitions and let your voice loose? Yeah that's what happened hahaha! I even went out to ask the counter lady how to turn the volume down, but the way she told me didn't work HAHAHA. And that one, called Song Box was a corny karaoke where they turn the volume up really loud and the mics have crazy echo effects like in old Malay rock songs. It was amazing. We played I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing and I came out half deaf with that amazingly poignant chorus in my head.
Crazy.
Then we got out, of it and said thank you to the counter lady. OH, I must describe this counter lady. Her face was slender with a feminine mouth. Her hair was cut short, spiked like a boy's and it was reddish pink at the tips. She had piercings on her eyebrow and mouth, and OMG, I don't know why but I found it so sexy hahahahahahhaha! SORRY XD She wore a lazy grin with a cocky expression in her eyes, almost like a confident guy. It was so interesting.
When we got out, I asked Chang Min... "boy or girl?" with a mischievous grin on my face. He looked back a bit, then looked at me and said.. "boy?" XD AHAHAHA. I was like "it's a girl!" And he looked back, slightly puzzled and very much amused. I looked at him incredulously, gestured exaggeratedly that she had boobs and we laughed like crazy as we walked out of Ampang Point and back to Koreantown. When we walked the jejantas, the man was gone.
So next, we visited Lotte Mart and looked at their wares. The Lotte Mart there was more like a supermarket, unlike the one we have in Hartamas which has limited stuff and was like a normal minimarket. We were looking around at the drinks, and I asked him which one was nice. He ummed for a while, opened the fridge and took out this cute little can that read Fanta Shaker Hundle Hundle, with bright orange bursts and cute font. Game, I went along with it and we bought two. The nice soft-looking lady at the counter bid us farewell with a small smile as we smiled radiantly back at her. Outside, Chang Min directed me to shake it hard 10 times, so I did. Then he told me it remains solid if I don't shake it, so I was really curious about the contents and looked away when I opened it in case he tricked me and some orange coke was about to hit me in the face. I shook it pretty well. XD
It didn't burst, so I drank it and OMG, it was heavennnnnnn. It's been such a long time since I had a jelly drink, so I melted and was so happy at the first sip that I took a long draft the second time. They don't have it in Hartamas by the way. :( hahahaha.
Then he called me weird. HAHAHA. Because most people in Korea didn't really like this drink, because pssh, they want drink and not jelly with it, but he quickly says he likes it. So I called him weird too. XD
We ate at a little Korean place that was empty except for us as people just dropped by to buy a few handmade kimpahp and leave. We sat there and he ordered kimpahp, tteok-ko-chi and another thing I forgot, because now I realize I'm in his turf now. He's the one who can speak Korean. Hahahaha. I put the guitar beside me and then we were served soup and our carefully cut kimpahp roll. They gave us those yellow half-pickles that I love and a small dish of cucumber in bright red chilli mixed a bit with clear liquid. He pointed at it and smiled at me cheekily, saying it's like kimchi. I tried and it was a fresh, sort of cool minty chilli that wasn't too spicy and complimented the cucumber perfectly. It was new and lovely!
All in all I fell in love with the kimpahp. PAHHHHP. :D It's a sort of Korean sushi that had cucumber, beef, egg, rice of course and other stuff in it. It was really good.
After that, we went to ANOTHER karaoke because the Ampang one was a bit of a letdown hahaha. We went to a Korean karaoke this time, a small cosy one with lush green cushion padding and dark brown polished wood frames. There was a small bar tucked inside with the bottles arranged neatly and the soft yellow light filtered through them, giving the pace a sort of secluded ambience. It was really nice! There were a few rooms where people were singing, and the uncle there directed us to a waiting area where we listened to the people in the room behind us, they were so funny. XD Chang Min translated bits and pieces and I laughed my butt off. He talked to the uncle about the price and got us a student discount, yay :D RM30 for an hour for two! It's a good deal if you ask me, hee. The uncle looked me up and down at one point with a slightly weird look. I felt very odd but Chang Min was there so I smiled through, he was there to protect me from weird uncles. :D I cheekily said Anhyounghaseyo hahahaha as we walked into our room. I spent the whole hour listening to him sing his favourite songs, all slow ballads with high notes. OH, I loved it. He was having an off day though, so he drank lots of water. Hahaha :D Finally, upon his insistence, I sang Aubrey by Bread. It was just okay and nothing special, but he told me I was good and "the feel was there". Aww.
After that we took another bus to Bintang LRT station in Ampang (which I foolishly thought was Bukit Bintang HAHA) and hitched the STAR LRT to Masjid Jamek and switched to the Putra line back to Kelana Jaya. It took us almost an hour. I didn't know it could take so long. But we had to sit close to each other for it was a three seat bench and an uncle was occupying one seat. NGEE :) we "chatted" to pass the time, which meant scribbling random sentences into his notebook. I tried to sleep but then he wanted to draw my sleepy face, so I slapped myself awake and continued random chatting with him. Hahahaha, he always says things like how are you and I like ___________, it's so cute. He's learning complicated words in British Council, like qualification and economics and antibiotic, I was like WHUUT, kamu belum lagi tahu basicnya D: what lah. I guess I'll leave it up to them if they know what they're doing. I have faith!
Then we went our separate ways after dropping him off.
The next day, my arm LENGUH HABIS. HAHAHA.
My guitar has done a lot of travelling. :)

Nae gaseumi NNUH.

2010-05-26T06:12:00.000-07:00

Bonamana - Super Junior
xxx
I've watched the video three times tonight. Once to laugh like crazy, once to concentrate on Eun Hyuk and once more to stare at Leeteuk. Well you can see the pattern. Imma go play it a few more times. XD
DANG EUN HYUK. You can daaaaance.
Leeteuk has such a charismatic face. His nose is so straight and he has very magnetic eyes. HAHAHAHA "are you sure it's the eyes and not the abs" XD
I'm sure. :D
Do I detect a little Abracadabra in Siwon HAHAHAHAHA
xxx
I need to STUDY STUDY for Add Math tomorrow. Paper 1! Wish me luck.
xxx
It's a holiday on Friday! Wesak Day people, on the 28th of May. And then if I'm not mistaken, it's Father's Day on the 30th. Is it?
Let's see if our plans work on Friday hmmmm :D we all need a break anyway. It's short, but enough. Then on to war, FOR GOOD GRAAAAADES!
(Narnia style)
xxx
The Wiggles are coming to town :D
xxx
Lately, I've been reading mangas online. It's so frustrating not being able to draw; I don't know what's come over me, nothing much is inspiring my hand anymore. I want to be better at drawing, but I never have the itch to draw as often as last time.
But again, Tooyama Ema is GOLD. Cliched, but very cute.
I'll work on my drawing! I promise.

Oh. Oh?

2010-05-22T09:41:00.001-07:00

Do you think Jack Johnson sings about the same few girls in his life?
I would love love love to know who inspired him to write Angel and Belle.
And Better Together, oh.
But I love his aware, sensitive side too. The News, 3Rs.
Questions is such a cute song!
And Cocoon is oh so lovely.
Traffic in the Sky remains my favourite. I don't know why.
BUT I DIGRESS.
XD
I'd love to know his angel.
Aww. :D

But I'll kiss my lips and I'll blow it to you.

2010-05-22T04:56:00.000-07:00

Second Lover - Noah and the Whale
xxx
It's a strange little suicide note wrapped in a happy tune and a British accent. But it's cute. :( I should probably go.. think now. XD
xxx
So. Exams have been lenient :) I was expecting harder questions, but yeah. They've been pretty good :D
Sejarah and Add Math loom ahead though. WOOHOO :D Good luck.
xxx
I went to Kechara's Wesak Day Fair today. We took 15 orphans to enjoy temselves there for a few hours. I saw Chang Min :DD It's a bit frustrating to only see him on Saturdays and not have full conversations at that :( maybe I'll see him again tomorrow. :D Maybe.
He invited me out to practise singing and teach me Korean.
I wanna go. XD
xxx
Before going to the fair, we actually visited a home for the handicapped. It was really humbling, seeing most of them lying on the floor with legs as skinny as poles and their feet pointing out at unnatural angles. Some just sat with blank expressions, others ran around like little happy kids. Most of them were with autism or Down's syndrome, but there are also some orphans in the home. A Chinese man came out and greeted us. Slightly handicapped, he greeted us warmly and brought us in to meet Yani, another slightly handicapped person. She was so bubbly and kept shaking our hands, as if forgetting us a few minutes after we've introduced ourselves.
My mom gave a hat to a Chinese girl with mild Down's syndrome, and she was really happy with it. She was really pretty in her own right, with big, dark eyes, soft hair and really fair skin. Oh, the skin on her feet were so incredibly soft and smooth. She probably never walked in her life.
Then I went outside and this Indian girl, about 15 and autistic took my hand, pulled me to sit down and then she took both my hands in her warm ones. Her name is Santhi. She had a huge grin on her face, showing her teeth, missing in a few places and jutting out at odd intervals. But it was so wonderful and so real.
"Kak, kakak boleh nyanyi lagu tak?"
"Nyanyi lagu apa?"
And then she starts singing this tune, pulling me up and down, up and down. A few seconds in, I recognized it as Tong Hua and then gosh, terharu sangat :'D My heartstrings were tugged so swiftly and suddenly, the tears NEARLY came out. But then we sang together, and her smile made me smile back and we kept singing with unaffected delight. Well at least on her part. Then we sang Rasa Sayang, Gong Xi Gong Xi, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Old McDonald, I Love You...
"Kak, Kakak nama apa?"
Back and forth, we kept rocking.
"Nama saya Alex, adik nama apa?"
She hugs me.
"Nama saya Santhi..... kakak, kak nama apa?"
And it repeats.
She's so cute. :)
And then suddenly, another girl pops up beside me, an Indian boy jumped into our cosy circle and plopped himself down on my lap and another girl to my left and we all sang together, like some impromptu choir. Hahahahha, it was really hard to leave them all.
But it was a good experience. :)
I'm thankful that I'm normal.
Truly.
Aren't CHUUUUU :D hahahaha.

There is beauty in the breaking, of a heart.

2010-05-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

Broken - Lindsey Haun
xxx
Have I told you about my funny experiences in HSC? I doubt it, but it made me laugh so hard. XD
One whole post coming will DEFINITELY be about the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf family, because they make me laugh till my butt falls off. Yes. LMAO. Don't know how that works, actually.
Okay okay. They make me laugh till my cheeks cramp :D especially a very very cute girl named CASSIE! Paired with Michael, Chris or Illya my stomach sure sakit habis :D
But today I'd like to tell you about a little boy and his mom. If you've never been to HSC, well, there's this shop called Sasa on the top floor that sells cosmetic products, perfume and all that shiznit. They always feature a product like DKNY's Delicious perfume, Britney Spears' perfume Circus and lots more. There will be a huge wall poster with vibrant colour and great quality matching the product to catch people's attention.
So this one time, Sasa featured a product that had a wall poster of this sophisticated cartoon beach girl sporting a colourful striped bikini and a straw hat. She wore a pair of squarish shades, and looked to the side to reveal a slim body and her three quarter profile.
A mother, her little boy of 2 or 3 and a maid with a stroller passed by, just another regular sight in HSC. Suddenly, the little boy jumps up and down excitedly and hops over close to the glass exhibit of the wall poster.
"MA! MA! Ma~"
Then the mom, a bit flustered, takes her child's hand and says, "apa nak? What?"
"Tetek ma~ tetek!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
WTH.
"Oh ya, tetek tetek eh. Okay. Okay, jom kita pergi! Okay?"
And the little boy lets the mom drag him away but still jumping up and down, he says "tetek! Tetek!" like he was genuinely happy that he could identify it.
SO CUTE, HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I couldn't believe my ears at first when he said it.
Great progress little boy. WOOT.

6 months?

2010-05-13T08:59:00.001-07:00

It feels like a whole damn lifetime without her already and you're telling me it's been 6 months. ONLY.
Well.... 6 down, a whole life to go.
Aish.
So I'm gonna dedicate a post to her. Ummm.... it'll be rather stupid and long, so I'd rather you didn't read. Don't say I didn't warn you and warded you off.
Okay?
Okay. Deep breath.
xxx
Hi Chandni. It's been really long without you here... mm. I've been making new friends left right and center, so it's been okay. And OMG, it's been getting so busy I SWEAR I'm being avalanched. I've just studied a whole subject today, and I'm gonna knock 'em off one by one as the exams come closer. Oh, they're just breathing down my neck like monsters with... huge nostrils.
Pn Liew is my Add Math teacher. She's just started on trigonometry, haha! The one you always get frustrated over. Sorry I never got it then. XD Thanks for making me get it.
You remember that day we were walking back up to class from God knows what, and you actually took my shoulder and gave me a reassuring hug? I love that day. It's imprinted in my mind, the dampness of the air, the secludedness of the corridor, how we were like off in our own world. I think it's because it's the first time you ever hugged me without warning. It was wonderful.
Well.... first and last, hahaha.
*SLAPS SELF* So depressing hahahahaha.
I'm writing a letter and burning it in front of you, if I ever visit your place-where-ashes-are-put. NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHERE IT IS. I'm still very frustrated hahahaha.
Wye Zhi and I have made up. In fact, yesterday we went to celebrate by eating at a restaurant called Room Eighteen. We had lots of fun and laughter at the table! :) it's an unexpected circle of friends, but you know. People adapt. :)
I wish I could come up with more unimportant small talk, but frankly I don't pay attention anymore. It's like the world is there and I'm.. not. I'm just drifting around, still cacatedly coming to terms with you being gone and all. Ugh, I'm taking so bloody long. WAI.
You remember DBSK? :D well now I know a person named Chang Min, hahaha! He's a really sweet guy, that's a bit childish in nature but oh, when he opens his mouth and sings, I could melllltttt. Sometimes he also flashes signs of maturity and hints at hidden depths. It's been amazing so far, and I want to get to know him more.
Cookie cutter's still a big fat puzzle. I'm trying to get to know him deeper and understand him and why he's so jaded in some ways. He's so.. fascinating.
I really want to know how you are right now.. if the streets of heaven really are paved with gold or if you'd be the interior designer of your own pad. XD And maybe you've met people like En Salleh (that'd be weird, so very weird), your grandma, your brother? Perhaps you've grown too.
And OMG, maybe you've straightened your hair HAHAHAHA. Don't please! I'd have loved to see it long but NEVER STRAIGHT, hahaha! That'd be odd. Curly hair is your thang, and you pull it off well.
It's sad that you never turned sixteen. You were so close... I cried the day you passed away, partly because you didn't get to Christmas Day. I'd thought that you'd have made it at the very least, till then. But oh well. :) you'll forever be sweet in your fifteens. :D
Mmm.. there are a lot more to say. I think I'd just write 'em down lah. Expect my letter soon, SQUEEE :D I wonder where your ashes are. Maybe in a river or on a mountain in the Himalayas, like on The Bucket List. Or maybe with your mom? ARH, my head.
See you then.

The one who toohs you, Alex.
P.S. I love you!

An apology

2010-05-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

OKAY. First off I'd like to say I'm sorry because my posts are all so emo emo and always related to Chandni somehow. I'm sorry. I know it's depressing. I know it's not the usual light fluffy blog stuff. I know it's getting a bit draggy. I know it's so like "UGHHHH" when you see a happy post with an emo emo ending. I KNOW OKAY. Although no one's said it.
SORRY LOH.
XD
I hope you understand that this is the perfect outlet for these feelings, because at least half my readers know her and have come to love her strength and tenacity and fighting spirit.
I know I have.
I know new readers will be like, WHUUUT when they see a foreign name and don't know the heartfelt backstory that has made me who I am today. I can't possibly say that she passed away each post, like, AMIRITE.
Aiyo, I'm sounding like a complete bimbo airhead emptycan. Laugh with me, if you understand. XD
Her presence was kind of like the sun and the capricious wind of my 17 years or so. She warmed me, she opened me up like a timid flower. She swept in, dancing the freaking tango and made me feel so alive in that period of time that I could actually talk and laugh along with her and her lame jokes and her awesome trigonometry skills when I forget what the hell soh cah toa is. (Sock a bloody toe in it for all I care. PSSH, trig.) But now I love it, and she's there with me in spirit whenever I need help with trigonometry. She'll be in my head, yelling exasperatedly "SINE IS OPPOSITE OVER HYPOTENUSE ARHHH!" And I'd smile and figure it out from there.
Yeah. All my posts have something to do with her. So I'm really sorry.
I just hope that you can cope with me. Cope together with me. Or just cope.
Or else.. you can go visit the other blogs on my friend list :) leave me be to emo emo. Hahahahaha.
And as they say it in China, ARRRIIIIIIIIIVEDERCI
Whee. Copa, copacabana! XD
Sorry. A little trippy tonight.

Why can't I love you in slow motion?

2010-05-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

Karina Pasian - Slow Motion
xxx

xxx
Hmmm :) Chang Min gave me this song.
I love it.
People're just giving me more and more songs by the day, I'm so happy! And maybe, sometime soon, I'll be playing the guitar together with a certain friend of mine :D I hope I will!
xxx
There was a photoshoot today. It was damn tiring :D I ran up and down to look for people! And then there was some getting to know you deeper time with Dushanth :) I hope I helped, even if it's just a little bit by listening to his frustrations.
Well, only part of his problems..
Just a small slice.
HUHHHH. But I still hope I helped.
Then Pn Yong singled me out for not doing so much work today :/ you know the feeling when you're unappreciated? Yeahhh.
But I know what I did, so I ain't gonna make her see what I do. It's so insignificant lah. :)
Instead, I'll take it as a lesson and double the amount of work I do during tomorrow's photoshoot session! WOOT POSITIVE THINKING :D
xxx
Oh, why can't I really get to know you, and love you right? ...You left too soon.

사랑, 사랑.

2010-05-02T04:12:00.000-07:00

8D
Have you ever heard a Korean ballad?
If you haven't, you should check out Love, That Cruel Disease by Wheesung. He does mostly R&B, but this one is really good. I love it! It's really sad and builds up into one really really high note, it almost made me melt.
Anyway, if you have heard a Korean ballad before, hang on. You'll see why I asked later :)
xxx
Yesterday, I went to pack food at Kechara, a modern Buddhist organization somewhere in Sunway Mas or something like that. I went last week too :) they pack food like bread, biscuits, water and oranges into plastic bags and then distribute them to the homeless regularly. I just went along when I heard from Ma that we're helping the homeless.
We went with Chang Min both times, so yesterday we had really nice conversations although his English was really basic. OMG, he's so bloody cute when he tries to make me understand, 'cause he looks away for a while, scratching his head while scrunching his nose up EEEEEEEE :D :D then looks me in the eye and tells me what he has to say.
While we were packing, we occasionally crossed eyes and he'd smile so wide, I can't help but smile back too. After that, we hung out for a while, while waiting for them to gather so that we could start saying a little chant of hope for the needy people out there. Chang Min and Chloe played like little kids, then Chloe napped a bit on my lap while he napped a bit on a chair. Hahahahahaha. It was late, I dozed off for a while too.
They gave us a laminated piece of paper that we could read out from, and Chang Min could read well. It's just he doesn't understand it fully, so he's on his way to good English! :D
After that, we went to eat a bit because we were waiting for Chang Min's dad to call Ma after he had reached the LRT station nearby. So we were trading little pieces of ourselves through basic English, lots of gestures and radiant smiles. He likes Milo, he's going for British Council lessons, he likes One Piece and also likes drawing... and teaches me Korean. Pang moggoso :D
Then I asked him to sing, in the car so that I can hear his voice and gauge his awesomeness.
He sang two Korean ballads with his powerful voice, and he went like REALLY HIGH
And his voice is like honey.
Ohhh.
If you've heard a Korean ballad, it was just like a studio recording! His voice didn't need any alteration or any fancy shmancy things to make it sound better, he just felt it and sang. It was like he was in his own world, though he was conscious of his voice and pitching. He never went off-key and it was amazing.
I fell in love with him and his voice at the first line he said.
And even more when he sang a Clay Aiken song and sang "give a little kiss". *faints*
So there you go. Look out for Moon Chang Min, people.
Hahahaha. XD
xxx
Love, That Cruel Disease - Wheesung

You and me found something pretty neat.

2010-05-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

Valentine - Kina Grannis
xxx
SHE IS SO CUTE
:DDD
OMG OMG OMG
Hahahahaha. I watched a dozen of her videos and fell in love with her personality, her smile and her amazing voice and songwriting skills.
SKILLZ, yo.
Hahahaha :D I never thought she'd be so candid and nice!
She started off on Youtube, so amazing. She makes tutorials and encourages people to cover her songs, and the way she conveys things is very easy to understand and funny. I now know how to play two of her songs. :D Her lyrics are sincere and heartfelt, it goes straight for your heart and warms it right up.
:)
xxx
I don't take orders, I'm not yours.
xxx
To go further (if one day I finally summon the guts) will be really really nice and amazing, but there are too many complications with all the people that want you and seemingly own you through their actions. Actions speak louder than words right, though they deny it so fiercely? I will not tie you up, I will not smother. I will take you as you are, I'll listen to whatever you have to say and whatever you feel. I'll be there. But I do think we found us something pretty neat.
I love the way we can just talk. XD stupid, but there you go.
I miss having someone to talk to. Nobody connected with me like you did.
Chandni.... it's raining, and I'm thinking of you. ♥

I don't need anything but you with me.

2010-04-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

Valentine - Kina Grannis
xxx

The video is really cute :D
STUPID GIRLS D: why tear some poor guy up because you won't accept his heart? XD
Thank you Huan Hee for introducing this singer to me :DD
Her voice is really melodious, honest and bouncy. Somehow. XD
And she's so incredibly pretty. You can download the song free at her website, http://www.kinagrannis.com/ if you like it. :)
Ooh, I hope one day I'd find that person with the other half of a broken heart.
xxx
Happy Labour Day, workers!

Chang Min

2010-04-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

PUHAAAAH.
He's so cute. :D
Although he doesn't speak a word of English, he's proven to me that music really is universal. :D He prefers ballads and a little jazz, and he sings.
Apparently his voice is really good. I want to hear it so bad, ASHKJFSKJB.
He's so adorable! :D he has dyed yellow hair, but his eyebrows remain dark coloured and he pulls it off well. Surprisingly. XD
His hair flops down the front, and covers most of his forehead but doesn't get into his eyes. He's ALWAYS smiling, even though he doesn't understand a thing when we talk too fast or talk in BM. It's mostly genuine, but sometimes it becomes a confused smile. So cute. :) He's so cute till we don't take notice of his body, but it's really well-built. Amazing shoulder blades, just the right height, oh broad shoulders and a bit on the slender side. He'll get flustered and embarassed if we call him cute. Hahahahah it's so funny. (:
He sent me a song, by Wheesung on his album Vocolate I think? And it's so goooodd.
He goes REALLY high, and the tune is really good. :D
I asked him what his 5 favourite songs were, and he told me. I was really happy to find out that he liked mellow kind of ballads! I dunno why. I went home to check them out. ;D then he asked me, and when I thought he had forgotten about me having two more songs to list for him, he prompted me. ...I was happily surprised. Heh *blushes*
Hahahahhahaha.
I'm trying to learn basic Korean to help him learn English. :) I think I got the basics down, but I need all the names of things now :D I'll work at it!
Wish me luck :D

OIIII, mutt.

2010-04-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahha my dad actually used this line on Kitty. She always goes ganas and scratches the chair and runs everywhere like an F1 car. Pa doesn't like that she scratches the chair, so he scolds her again and again but it never gets through.

HAHAHA.

The line works, though. Temporarily. XD

xxx

CF tomorrow is at a new church, for the first time since I was Form 1 and maybe beyond! This is very memorable. :D

OHH, wish us luck. I hope we make an impression. :D

xxx

I taught someone in tuition how to wish on a star, for fun. :D he laughed, but he wished.
Try it! :D wish upon the first star you see.

When I find you, I'll find me.

2010-04-27T04:42:00.000-07:00

When You Find Me - Joshua Radin and Maria Taylor
xxx
Sunday will be a night I remember. :)
It was awesome.
I saw my first kiss on stage!
AWW, so sweet.
And then I saw two guys almost kiss.
AWW, lagi sweet. Hahahahaha

Breathe, just breathe.

2010-04-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

Anna Nalick - Breathe
xxx
Should I be excited for this Sunday? :D
I am. Unnaturally excited.
But it looks like Huan Hee has to go to Kelantan.
:(
I think she'd be great there, but I feel bad that she'd have to miss it as she's a senior and she's one of the organisers. Who wouldn't want to taste the fruit of their labour right?
But she'll be okay.
I hope. I'm gonna see her tonight :)
xxx
Today, Alia told me she was getting closer to me.
And I thought, what?
"Closer as in heart? Why yes, I think so too :D"
And that's exactly what I said. Hahahahaha then I realized she was talking about positions in class. Hahahahhaha.
xxx
So the pressure's been off me recently. It's great. :D
Pressure 1: CF takde venue.
A person from a church nearby contacted me today. (I brought my phone to school, forgot to put it on silent mode, and it rang during Pn Jeet's class. Hahahaha) He sms-ed that he'd like to see how they can help us CF people :D
Pressure 2: Paperwork
AUGHHHHH. It's a lot of work.
But, they seem to have settled it already. Yay.
Pressure 3: English Club station games
Lotsa people involved yay! Just need to discuss clues. That's the fun part.
Pressure 4: Homework
Working at it. I promised myself.
Pressure 5: Friends, or maybe not?
Self-explanatory.
Pressure 6: Drawing block. HAHAHA.
xxx
But I've taken a rest and feel all pumped up now. I've breathed. :)

I'd cheat destiny just to be near you.

2010-04-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

Anna Nalick - Wreck of The Day

xxx

So. Hi :D

I think Anna Nalick is extremely pretty. Look at those cheeks, that small pert nose, those full lips so full of expression, the dark colour of her hair against her fair skin and those honest EYES.

Plus she writes amazing songs with the most haunting, dissonant, yet harmonious chords and lyrics.

I would kill to have talent like hers.

TEEHEE :D no lah, I won't kill. Maybe by some other measure.

xxx

Are my posts hard to read? Because someone once told me it's like English Literature when the person came back from a long day and started reading. Errrr.... sorry then :D

xxx

I'm sorry for ditching school today, Leanne SAW. D:

xxx

I can tell you honestly that I've wished upon a star.

And I wished for...........................

Something. :D I can't tell you. It won't work then.

Starlight, star bright

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight.

OHH :D
Now you know how to wish. I always look for stars in the night sky. It's relaxing and it gives me hope. :) Nobody does that much.

xxx

OH BY THE WAY. I forgot to decribe Jackson.

*SLAP* I mean Johnson.

He's really tall and muscular. I'd assume that tall and muscular guys generally have short hair, but this guy has long hair, up to his chin, or a bit longer. His eyes speak of many things, but are mostly happy and genuine. I think he's the type of person that is strong, and stands up for what he believes in. His voice isn't TOO deep, but has a nice edge and depth that sort of.. pulls you in. Not many people have that power :D

He has warm, lean and strong hands.

I think he prefers green.

Oh and he wears full frame glasses, you know the type :D the black squarish urban kind of thing. He pulls it off quite well.

I don't know much XD I've only talked to him for half an hour, if you count both weeks.

But you get the picture yes? :D

xxx

I hope to see you soon :D SQUEE.

Everything in between

2010-04-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Feels like a BIG, FAT, F*CKING FARCE.

*slams the door*

xxx

I don't know how she does it. How she juggled everything in between.
I'm dying inside.
I'm not here, I'm not there.
Yet I talk and laugh as if nothing is wrong, like I can't already feel the rift beginning to grow between me and the both of them because,
Because both of them are on different sides.
DIFFERENT, OPPOSING, F*CKING SIDES
Why can't we just call it quits? It's OVER, for Pete's sake.
It's BEEN that way since a few years ago, HELLO.
Look at me, somebody, and just be in my shoes for one moment.
Can you handle being the mediator? Can you handle being friends with both sides, and yet not take sides? Can you handle only talking to one side and then talk to the other side and not talk together like we used to?
Can you take the pressure of growing gulfs between you and the world? Like there's nobody suitable or free enough to take a moment and listen to you and your stupid stories of the day, so you just keep it inside, not sharing the happiness, not doubling it?
Can you handle that both of them also have their own lives, thoughts, cliques, they've moved on and you're still clinging on for God knows what reason?
I'm the STUPIDEST, most NAIVE girl on Earth.
For f*ck's sake.
And cranky Auntie Mary that comes once a month isn't helping.
I'm sorry for being angry. It's not Auntie Mary's fault. It's not their fault.
It's just... they're victims of circumstance, of the action of giving up.
They don't work at it anymore, and they're complacent. They're okay with it.
So why can't I be okay with it AIHFIBSFBSHNLKDNG
*sigh*
At least when she was here I could talk to her about it.
She told me everything she felt, how frustrated she was, how the isolated one kept evading her questions on this topic. But she was ever the optimist, and kept going for it. Even when she was sick, hahaha. So dedicated.
I'm sorry. :) Disregard this whole entire post. I was... weak. I need to be stronger, I can do this!
You can too. :D if anything, take a good look at this then REMEMBER, there's always someone for you. Look harder. And remember that you can ALWAYS do it, just believe in yourself.
Just... there are some moments in life where you need someone else to help you along.
*sigh*..... okay, angry moment over. *slaps self*
Bai :)

"Damn, girl."

2010-04-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

I'll take that as a compliment. :)
xxx
So, I'm proud to say.....

I MADE IT

YEAHHHH
I made it onto Alia's Daily Reads roll. I'm touched. :'D

xxx
I've recently been going early to Karangan tuition on Sundays. And not for tuition, but for the remnants of Creative Writing class and for the teacher of said class. I miss Ms Dee J :( I used to go for her class and ENJOY it.
I love writing, so very much. It's such a versatile, playdough-like thing that you can shape anyway you like it, in any language. Some people can't really write, but I think it's because they don't let themselves... go.
Hmm.

I wanted to bring my essays so that teacher could read it during her half hour break, but she hasn't been able to make it lately. She has a friend who alternates with her whenever she tak boleh, so he's been filling in for her.

And I gotta say, cutest English Creative Writing teacher EVERRRRRR :D

Hahahahhahaha.
I value people's criticism, especially my dad's. :D So I just went ahead and introduced myself, and gave my essay to him to read two weeks ago. (untuk ujian punya. I wrote about my first picnic by the sea. :) ) He said it was good stuff, and showed me a part where I went wrong. WHOO HOO :D That's the best thing he could've done. Normally, people would just go on and on about how descriptive it was and how good the essay is, not showing me where I went wrong, which part they thought was awkward. I mean, I just know a few good words and string them together D: I don't really like praise, because I never know how to respond.... it's like they say "but you're so good!" and I just mumble a shy "thank you..? :)" Ugh, if only I knew how to react, what to say.
But oh well. I guess my talent lies in my hands. XD cheh, perasan.
Last week pun I brought a piece that I was really proud of to show Ms DJ... but she couldn't make it that week as well.
So.. I showed him the piece. :)
It's about missing someone, and how that person has had a great influence in your life. I wrote two and stapled them together, two about two different people.
He read both. He came out, scared the shit out of me when he suddenly appeared behind me, with a rather wistful yet happy, reminiscent expression.
I wondered why, why does he have that face on?
He told me it's really touching, and well-written. I forget things, but thank you for saying well-written. :) I've never had someone say that to me before.
So.. think about it. What do you really want to do before you die?
Well.. I've thought about it many times before.
D: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY
Oh, *smiles* because I've faced many deaths in my life.
*STONES* D8 Oh, oh *flails around* I'm sorry.
Why? XD
Because, I know how it must feel. (and his is probably x10 D:) So... I'm sorry.
*moves to touch his arm, then stops midway and pulls back, hesitantly*
Where he proceeds to extend a hand. I shook it, with feeling.
xxx
He's a really great guy. I keep confusing his name and keep calling him Jackson in my head, then I automatically slap myself and correct it: JOHNSON LAHHH
D: mong mong cha cha. Hahahahahhaha :D

I'll see you in my dreams.

2010-04-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

(1, 2, 3, 4)

Though the days are long
Twilight sings a song
Of a happiness that used to be
Soon my eyes will close (soon my eyes will close)
Soon I'll find repose
And in dreams, you're always near to me

I'll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams

In the dreary gray
Of another day
You are far away and I am blue
Still I hope and pray (still I hope and pray)
Through each weary day
For it brings the night and dreams of you

I'll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
They will light our lonely way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Hmmm....
xxx
What a lovely, lovely song.
Especially by Ingrid Michaelson. :) :DDDDDDD I know, dah gila over her.
Wait for the song to load; I know it'll take a bit long but it's worth it. Oh so worth it! :)
The laidback duet is done with this other guy, paired with the ukulele and is recorded like it's through a phone, so it creates this playful, buoyant feeling of rindu. And the chords, OMG, music to my ears. I love love love it. :D Thank you Isham Jones. ( he wrote it... IN THE TWENTIES 8D)
Whoa. :)
xxx
The photoshoots were less tiring than last year's, because now we have Darren :'D hahahha we didn't have to fit it all in 2 days. Everybody was so active, running around and arranging people, and the students made everyone's day. They weren't defiant and in fact teased us all a little bit as well XD hahahahha! The Form 4s this year really worked together with us, and they are just awesome, random people. The megaphone also was a huge feature in our day; everyone made announcements whether serious or funny. Hahahaha :D
It was awesome. :D

I'm in love with how you feel.

2010-04-15T05:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever hugged someone and it just felt... right?
:)
I have. Three times.
Just the feel of someone else's body against yours, the person's warmth slowly reaching and enveloping your heart. Making you feel happy.
The way they just fit into your arms. Their hands all in the right places, like they can read your mind or something.
And then the closeness of the whole hug, it's like we're off in our own world and not giving a second look to anyone around us. The tightness of the squeeze is the easiest place to spot a bad hug; it musn't be too loose or too tight, just to bring the other body very close to yours yet not crushing them, you know.
Chandni, Alex and Ah Fong. They give the best hugs.
I miss the best of all. I have, for two years already. It's not like she can hug back from the bed. XD
xxx
Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches, from Juno.

So long to ever after, so long to you.

2010-04-13T03:39:00.000-07:00

It's amazing ainnit, both contexts of that line.
So long, good bye.
So long, so far away.
Ingrid Michaelson - So Long
xxx
SO, yesterday I had tuition. Yesterday was Monday by the way. :)
And surprisingly, I made two new friends :D
Hahahahahaha!
I like doing random kindnesses. I like helping people, no reason why. It's a good thing to do, and it makes people's day. Unexpected smiles make me happy.
Like my own brand of heroin, ahem. XD
When I went to tuition last Friday and found this really simple but beautiful necklace, I took it and reasoned that it belonged to someone of the really big BM class right before my class. Most of them would turn up next Monday, so I kept it. The necklace was just a pearly heart pendant that reflected the colours of the rainbow on a chain that looked worn and well loved. The clasp was broken. Therefore, can we fix it?
YES WE CAN :D
I took it to Hartamas Shopping Centre, to an accessory booth where I hoped they could fix clasps and sell simple black bands. There was an Indian guy tending the stall; it belonged to his sister and I asked him if he could fix the clasp. He said he could! :D
This character was really... interesting. He had several piercings on his ears and wore silver that shone against his smooth skin. Well-dressed, slightly feminine and very friendly, I was immediately taken and related the story to him with a smile in my voice. We talked and talked, until a woman and her four children, 2 in strollers came along, and I made way while he was still putting the new clip on. Her little girl that looked 4 or 5 years old wanted piercings already, and he was to judge whether she was ready.
OMG, I remember when I pierced my ears. We had to go through a really pretty park to go to the stall, and I did mine without much fuss. My first pair of earrings were hearts. I remember Mandy's reaction more though, hahaha! She pierced one side, cried, and ran away. Then she had to come back for the second ear. Hahahhahaha XD
When we parted ways, he said what I did was nice and patted my arm lightly with a parting goodbye and a little lilt in his endearment for me, "sweetie".
When I woke up Monday morning, I was just bouncing with excitement to go for tuition. School took FOREVER to finish. I walked with a spring in my step going to Desa to makan, and when I reached I made the funniest decision ever, hahahhaha!
I ordered a big bowl of "drunk chicken noodles" which was herbal chicken soup with a healthy dose of Chinese rice wine. (The auntie had cautioned me beforehand that this dish contained wine. OH auntie. XD) It was new, this smell and taste to my taste buds and I lapped it all up, savouring the taste of the wine and the chicken soup with the mee sua that just absorbs the flavour. It was amazing. But in my subconscious mind, I thought, this bowl of noodles has way too much alcohol content in it HAHAHA. The smell of wine was a little overpowering, I felt like I could breathe it in.
Sure enough, after eating, I felt a bit lightheaded. My sister commented on my red face when I told Pa, and said I cepat mabuk HAHAHA
I went home and dozed off, suddenly feeling very warm and happy all over. Pa yelled for me to get up 15 minutes before tuition, and I hurried, dressed and ran out the door to hopefully get to tuition as early as possible. You know, because I wanted to return the necklace. I planned to go in front and announce the missing necklace to the class.
Still feeling a little lightheaded, I stumbled a bit on the way up the stairs to the tuition centre. I could feel my heart beating away in my CHEEKS, I swear. It was so funny, I must have been red. I could feel heat just emanating from my body like some kind of broadcasting centre. The fact that the class was Physics didn't help XD hahahaha
Distracted by my lightness, I headed to the front without much fear. I said "Ummmm hi :D did anyone lose this?" I showed it to the girls in front, and then some guys were like showing signs that they recognized it. OF ALL THINGS, a guy enters the door, looks at it and was like, "OH HIII that's mine! Thank you, thank you so much"
My WHUUUUT face must've been a sight to see. XD I forgot to tell him about the fixed clasp, but I figured he'd notice someday. I asked him if he wanted a new band, but he refused. His smile was so sweet :)
So I ambled on to my seat, not caring much for the people I passed as I just wanted to feel the pulse in my cheek in a sitting position. After an hour or so, the feeling of giddiness went away, and I started thinking about that guy the necklace belonged to. Was he going to leave it at that? Or maybe say hi the next time we pass?
Physics came and went. He left for home, but as he passed me, he looked me in the eye, smiled widely and said thank you again.
And I'm touched :D
xxx
The second friend I made.... wait, it was more like she made friends with me! :D
Eyu Huan Hee, that is her name. She has Thai, Hokkien, and Kelantan all in her bloodline, and her English is surprisingly good :D She invited me to an International Relationship Day to raise funds for homeless children, or rather orphans; specifically Stepping Stones Orphanage.
8D
If you have visited littlethingsinaheart, you'd know that I've been there before so my interest was peaked. :D
The event is in 2 weeks time! Find the event on facebook, it's under KB's IR Night. The theme is Blast from the Past, and only RM25 per person. Kalau nak beli 10 one shot, it's only RM20 per person! They have games and performances for the whole night all in the name of charity. The venue, if I tak salah is the Confucian School Hall in KL; however buses are provided :D And dress code, as always, is smart casual.
TEEHEE ADVERTISING
We just chatted and chatted and found a friend in each other! I also talked more to the princess! Yayyy.
She's a really nice girl. She's athletic, really tall and tanned. She has a wide smile that manages to be upward and downward, and warm eyes. :D I like her.
I hope I can go. But the problem would be the baju............ XD
xxx
I forgot what I wanted to say. Then I remembered I have Sejarah homework.
OH WELP
Gonna finish it now then.

Remember him?

2010-04-07T00:58:00.000-07:00

"Hey, pretty mama."

xxx

Hahahhaha :D still remember this manly blond dude? I miss watching him.

He's so silly. Yet he never gives up, does he?
He played when Cartoon Network topped Disney.
Now, the new shows are all over the top, unfunny and just flop.
Except Chowder and Ben 10, of course. :)
Maybe I should give them a chance and try watching the new shows, huh.
xxx
You know what's so awesome about Pokemon? The games and the shows?
Their epic theme songs never EVER change. I bet when we all turn 50 someday, they'll be playing Pokemon Uranium-12 and we'd still be humming that catchy tense soundtrack when we fight other Pokemon. Hahahah.
I CHOOSE YOU! :D Ash Ketchum WOOT.

It takes two floors to make a storey.

2010-04-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

Meh. :D Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
xxx
I've been filling my head up with Jason Mraz. Burying myself in his lyrics. Carried away by his playful and sad melodies. Uplifted by his cheeky charismatic voice.

Did you know he could do OPERA :D

YES YES HE CAN

Hahahahha. (:
Oh, he's so wonderful.
xxx
I booked tickets for the first time! :D hahahaha!
I'm so excited to see if they really will reserve 3 tickets for me tomorrow.
xxx
I drove to Temerloh from Lanchang yesterday, on the highway. At first my position wasn't really adjusted properly, so my handling was a little awkward and stilted. NECK SAKIT OI :D but only for a while.
It was so EXHILARATING. So FUN. I didn't panic and all, I don't see what there is to panic about hahahaha. I was doing a comfortable speed and drifted occasionally. Tapi overall okay :D
My dad supervised the whole affair. He was the one who needed to go to Temerloh after all, to prepare a timber sawmill for auditing.
Timber businesses (as I've observed) are normally handled and passed down in the family. So the family of that particular sawmill was wonderful! They were teasing, nice, hospitable and had the best Mild Nescafe coffee ever. (My first hahahahha)
Then I drove back to Lanchang. Now that I adjusted the seat properly, I had a better grip on the wheel and enjoyed it very much. :D I overtook my first lorry YAYY
xxx
I stopped at a really famous rest stop that everyone stops at to eat on the way up to the Genting road. (I FORGOT THE NAME)
Pa and I went to McDonald's. The first thing I saw was this Ronald McDonald holding chips and a burger in a field of some sort statue greeting everyone who passed through the doors. OMG, OMG, pedo face :DDDDDDDDDD hahahahhahahahhaha

from http://wontdieone.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html

This looks QUITE CREEPY XD from http://bacin.wordpress.com/2006/10/01/16-orang-gila/

While this one looks like OHAI, you. Ngehehehehe. Hahahaha! XD
His eyebrows slanted slightly too far forward hahaha, so funny. I stared for quite a while, till some other people started staring at me too.
Next time you go up to Genting, say hi for me.

OH YA! Genting Sempah :D

Seratus lima puluh

2010-03-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

These exam nights are doing the blog good. XD
I'm studying up for Physics. I seem to not get it, yet somehow my mind just works out the questions and gets good marks back. Hmm.
Thank God I have a good brain. (:
LANTAKLAH SEJARAH, I think I did well for Paper 2 XDD Paper 1's only objective questions.
YAY :D
xxx
Consolation prize?
Consolation?
...
Seriously?
Only now do I take notice of this word used for small prizes. As consolation for people who did not get the top prize. Like oh heyyy I'm sorry you didn't get it; here take this lollipop, it'll make it all go away. All the little connotations that innocent word carries.
Or maybe I think too much.
.....
I'd take sagu hati over consolation prize any day. XD
xxx
ARRRGGH kena study Physics. :D

Surprisingly

2010-03-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

I did okay for Sejarah and Moral. All thanks to TANG
Hahahahha
Wei Xuan definitely motivated me to study. :D Especially for Sejarah and Moral.
Thank you Wei Xuan!
xxx
Super Junior yayyy :D Thay've finally graced KL and blew so many people's minds off with awesome dance moves back to back and obviously their cheeky cuteness!
Come back soon, we need more light-heartedness in our lives :D
xxx
Lisa Mitchell's Incomplete Lullaby is inspiring me with so many pictures just swirling and dancing around in my head. OH, what a lovely song.
"Like a turning head,
like a second look,
Lke a burning leaf of an open book."
xxx
Okay, so wish me luck. :D tomorrow's BM and Math.

I know you have to close your eyes on everyone.

2010-03-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

So let me help you, I'll sing you morning lullabies.
xxx
Ingrid Michaelson I LOVE YOU. :D
Her songwriting skills are amazing, her tunes are very melodious with chord arrangements that are like heaven to my ears and not very usual. And then. her LYRICS. Meaningful without using big words, very whimsical like buying her parents a house in the South of France and doing what bunnies do (HAHA), making it seem so playful and childlike.
Then her VOICE, OMG. It's just so full of character! Soft, high, playful. Low, sad and melancholy. And those high notes she hits are so sweet, oh, makes me listen to her over and over. Her style of music is mostly with the acoustic guitar and ukulele, but sometimes she throws in the organ, cello, piano and other instruments as well.
xxx
I remember once, Benjamin was going to perform her song The Way I Am on stage for something and referred to it as the clown song.
Up till two days ago, I had NO CLUE what he was talking about until I saw the video. Very weird, yet illustrates the whole point. And also very sweet and funny. XD
xxx
Sometimes, it seems like the world is just going to overwhelm you and eat you up in one swallow, like the batu berbelah with the gaping mouth. Sometimes it feels like nobody is there to listen, no one right enough to talk to; like there's no one out there close enough to know and not judge but just shut up and listen to you ramble or tease you occasionally. Sometimes you just don't know what to do and who to ask these stupid precious questions in your head. And it's driving you nuts.
During your sometimes, just do it! Grab that person you want to confide in no matter how stupid you think that person will think you are. Whisper your insecurities, shout out your frustrations, they can handle it. That person could hide with you, that person will coax you out into the sun. Stranger or not, people are naturally curious to know who you are and how you think and feel: maybe resembling them or maybe not.
BOLEH PUNYA
JUST DO IT>>>>>>>>>> NOT A NIKE AD
YAY
"Carpe diem, baby."
(:
(And if you choose me, I'd be honoured. LOL :D )
xxx
I am so happy. Now we know each other's names squeeee :D

I always seem to forget how fragile are the very strong.

2010-03-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

I still choke up. I miss her. I'm scared that I can't remember her face when she smiled, when she was mock angry, when she was eating vegetarian pasta made by her mom while she teased Hannah and Carlo.
That smile, that lovely smile. It's slipping away.
It's just slipping away.
But her voice and laughter will always stay with me.
Sebak dada saya hahahaha.
xxx
Ingrid Michaelson - A Bird's Song

It's early

2010-03-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

I'm awake at 8 when nobody else is up.
I feel like I'm on top of the world.
The birds chirping away, last night's rain that brought this wet, refreshing air down on the earth, the cat scratching away at the armchair like there's something underneath it all and Rosi Golan's unpretentious vocals coupled with simple but brilliant melodies and lyrics.
:D
:D
THANK YOU GOD WHEE
Hahahahahaha.
xxx
So how're you this wonderful morning? :)
Happy holidays! We have one whole week to take a break from school.
During Karangan class yesterday, I promised Wei Jin that I'd study.
SO I MUST
YEAHHHH :D I'm full of spirit now. I think I'm gonna tackle Biology.
No I won't back down!
Happy Ides of March. Hahahaha :)

Two nights out.

2010-03-12T23:33:00.000-08:00

Two nights. :D
xxx
NIGHT ONE
My neighbours are French. :D So Alia invited us to the French School just down the road for a charity concert to help Haiti where she'll be singing. Asiah, her little girl always comes over and invites Chloe to play as well so we're pretty close for neighbours.
SO WE SAID YES
Th confusion between Haiti and hi-tea was hilarious.
The whole family went. I was amazed by the people there; their features were different, so charming, pointed, shaped and very French. I dunno, I just like how French people look hahaha. The language was surrounding me like a blanket, a blanket of comfort and ignorance.
And they are tall.
:D
We went down to the concert hall. It was a half-amphitheatre with carpeted steps to sit on, with the stage with its black background being the focus of everyone's attention. There was a drum set, a bass guitar, a piano, an acoustic guitar, a saxophone, a few microphones to the side of the stage and a sole microphone at the fore.
Did I mention that this was a jazz concert?
*SQUEES and faints.*
Hahahaha :D So the opening speech was given; not that I understood anything but the melodious intonation and fast flow of syllables of a different language was really interesting. I think I might learn French. Then I'd learn Korean. But that's for night number two.
Then I'll learn German and Tagalog! And Hokkien and Portuguese! :D
It can't be that hard. :D
Anyway.
So I was staring open mouthed at the instruments in wonder. :D Can you imagine?
Everyone around spoke French, and so I just listened to the incomprehensible chatter that went up and down with joy and excitement.
The first act was the piano played by two sisters: one of them owns No Black Tie which I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO VISIT *faints a second time.*
Debussy, George Bizet and other pieces were expertly played by the duo. They were really good! I was blown away. Not one, but two sisters at the same level of skill in piano wei. Duets are hard to coordinate especially when you've got to play scales together. I recognize only the first one; from Nodame Cantabile! :D
And every one of them was a duet. D: hahaha! They played too many pieces though. I figured 4 or 5 would have the impact but they went on to like 8. XD
And after that, there was a sort of jam session! The bassist was really good with his strings. He was introduced as Fook. You can imagine my childish amusement. But he really was amazing. He didn't lose count, played an actual melody with the bass guitar not like normal bassists who just go DUM DUM DUM DUM DUUM on the same 4 notes.
The saxophone player was great! I'm not sure whether it's improvisation or a set thing he practised beforehand but he was carrying the melody most of the time and was awesome!
The drummer had a great sense of rhythm. Normally I'd lose count already somewhere in 2 minutes hahahaha, but he just went on with the light taps on the cymbals and the quarter off beat in between every 8 bars. Jonathan Jacobs fom South Africa, I think.
Next we have the acoustic dude! At first we were all clapping away to the beat, but then he made this gesture across his neck like "kill the clapping" so we all quieted down hahaha. It turned out that his instrument couldn't be heard; so by the time he got it all set up we clapped anyway! He is from Cuba. He was AMAZING. He vocalized on his solo along with what he was playing on the acoustic guitar! His fingers were really fast.
The pianist is my favourite hahahaha. He had light brown messy hair that had a life of its own. He effortlessly played chords on the piano with his large hands, sometimes while looking behind him and not at the piano! OH I admire that confidence. He was in the background but when he did a small solo, he shone. :D
After the jam session, 5 girls and 1 boy came out and went over to the microphones off at the side. (Glee much.) The Cuban guitarist sang a song! A Spanish song.. Tina? There was this one part when he was singing Spanish lines and Alia would translate into French that made people laugh. Hahaha :)
Alia did 5 song altogether I think! She sang Natural Woman, Let's Stay Together, Cry Me A River, R.E.S.P.E.C.T and a French song that made people laugh. The French song was written by this man who had white hair tied back into a ponytail. :D
The back up singers didn't do much, but they moved left and right in time with the songs. The guy was a little sesat though. XD Tall, great sense of rhythm (he clapped a lot), messy chocolate hair and a bit of a hunch. How yum :D Hahaha! There were 2 black girls, one tall brunette, one Chinese? And this one girl who stood out: she was wearing a colourful pretty dress and had blonde hair. Great smile, big eyes.. but that's not why I looked at her. She smiles so sincerely and swayed with the music, not caring if the other members didn't follow suit. :D I mean she toned down a bit lah if she saw everyone else not moving, but for Respect she sang and moved a lot. :D
RESPECT! :D That was the last song and it got everybody into a clap happy mood. We all sang along, and got carried away by the drummer's beat and the bass lines. When it was over everybody got up and clapped! :D A happy buzz in the heart, that's what I got.
That was the end of our French charity concert night.
xxx
NIGHT TWO
I was reluctant at first, but soon all three of us (Mandy, Chloe and I) were at my cousin's house waiting to go out together to eat a steamboat dinner. Apparently when I was 7 there was a Korean boy aged 9 who used to play with us. Chang Ming, I think. His dad was to be referred as Uncle Moon, so Moon Chang Ming. OOOOOHHH :D
His dad is an international music songwriter I think; so his English is good. He wants Chang Ming to learn English, so he's gonna be in Malaysia to go to this good English class that will help him. Chang Ming is homestaying with my cousins for 6 months without his dad! :D
He has dyed dirty blonde hair, is a bit weird but always has a smile on his face. He's really friendly! :D Right now his English is really basic, but Uncle Moon translates for him and that's when you see his real smile come out, hahahaha.
The highlight of our dinner was when the prawns on the plate suddenly showed signs of life. XD One jumped when nobody was looking and slapped E Wei on his cheek. He was playing the PSP and his mom told him to stop; he was switching it off when this happened. He was like, "UHHHHH hahaha Ma I know you're mad at me but still no need to throw stuf at my face right" hahahaha XD Then the prawn jumped high up in the air and we all screamed together! XD
It jumped again and again, off the plate and then suddenly with one almighty heave, it leaped off the table and Chang Ming nearly fell (as he was sitting next to E Wei)! Hahahahaha.
He's so funny. And to tell the truth, very familiar. I thought I'd never remember him.
I like the Korean language. Most of the time it seems abrasive but I think it's really rather nice. The holds, the vowels, the modulation of the voice... and the funny expressions they make. XD
And that's how night two went. :D
In conclusion...... I'm hungry. Bai :D